


It's the State of the Art

by a_slightly_cracked_egg



Category: Six - Marlow/Moss
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Slow Burn, this fic is like the definition of "homosexual shenanigans ensue"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:40:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 21,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23097988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_slightly_cracked_egg/pseuds/a_slightly_cracked_egg
Summary: Catherine Parr, a photography major, is stuck with a less-than-desirable project to complete.Fortunately for her, Anne Boleyn is more than happy to assist.Unfortunately for her, she happens to have a massive crush on Anne.
Relationships: Anna of Cleves/Katherine Howard, Anne Boleyn/Catherine Parr
Comments: 58
Kudos: 250





	1. I Know You Need the Dark

The smell of the dining hall had always irked Cathy a bit, but today it was straight up insufferable. The mixing of all the different types of food was making her headache ten times worse, and the bustling noises from the students filing in and out, eating lunch, and chatting with friends, made her wish she had just grabbed an apple and retreated back to her dorm.

She jumped and almost dropped her lunch when she felt a hand catch her shoulder. She turned around abruptly to find Anna of Cleves staring at her rather oddly.  
“You okay?” Anna asked, looking at her closely, clearly concerned. “It seemed like you weren’t all there for a sec.”

“’M fine,” Cathy smiled wearily, rubbing the side of her head with a free hand. “Just…long morning. Can we just find somewhere to sit?” Anna nodded sympathetically, patting her on the back before peering over the crowd to look for an open spot.  
They found a free table near the back of the room and set their trays down. Cathy immediately pulled out her camera. Anna made a face.

“Cathy, I swear, if you don’t but that thing down this instant–”

“Relax,” Cathy cut her off, raising one hand in surrender while pointedly plugging her charging cord into the outlet nearby. Anna huffed.

“I’m just saying. You spend too much time with that thing.” She grumbled, “You’ve gotta learn to live in the present.” Cathy rolled her eyes.

“I’m a photography major.”

“I still don’t quite understand how that happened.”

“Excuse me?” Cathy made a face, laughing slightly, “What’s that supposed to mean?” Anna spread her hands.

“You, bookworm Parr, straight-A Parr, overachiever Parr, a photographer?” She said incredulously. “You could have been pretty much anything you wanted, and yet,” Anna gestured towards Cathy in exasperation, “You chose photography.” Cathy scoffed, rolling her eyes.

“You make it sound so much more complicated than it actually was.” She said matter-of-factly. “I found something I loved, and I went for it. Simple as that.” She promptly took a bit of her sandwich. Anna rolled her eyes and huffed again, then waved to someone behind Cathy. Cathy turned around to find Katherine grinning widely and waving enthusiastically.

“Hey!” Kat gave Cathy a quick side hug, then slipped into the seat next to Anna, sliding her lunch tray along the edge of the table.

“Hey, Kat,” Cathy smiled softly. Kat flashed her another brilliant grin, before beginning to peel her orange. After a few moments, she gestured towards Cathy’s charging camera.

“Did Anna give you shit for that?” Kat giggled.

“You know I did,” Anna interjected before Cathy could respond. Cathy snorted and Kat smirked, before leaning forward in her seat.

“Working on any new projects?” The younger girl asked excitedly. Cathy smiled at her fondly. Kat was always thrilled to hear about whatever she was working on.

“Yeah, actually, thanks for reminding me,” She said thoughtfully, “I actually need to find someone to model.” Anna’s eyebrows shot into her hairline as Kat’s eyes shone with excitement.

“Could I help?”

Cathy winced. She probably should have anticipated this question.

“Kat, um, I don’t think you’ll want to.” Cathy shifted uncomfortably, trying to figure out how to phrase it just right.

“Why not?” Kat looked confused, although thankfully not hurt.

“I need a nude model,” Cathy said bluntly, wincing again as Katherine’s face twitched involuntarily and she inhaled sharply.

“Right,” Kat said quietly, smiling tightly. She went back to eating her orange.  
There was a moment of uncomfortable silence before Kat nudged Anna with her elbow.

“Babe, you should do it.” She grinned up at Anna cheekily. The awkwardness of the situation immediately broke as Anna’s eyebrows once again shot up.

“Excuse me?” She snorted. “Not likely.”

“What’s not likely?” Jane’s voice sounded from behind Cathy.

“Anna doesn’t want to be Cathy’s nude model.” Kat pouted, then grinned. Cathy’s cheeks reddened.

“Can you not say it so loudly please?” She hissed, glancing around the cafeteria. Jane laughed, plopping down next to her.

“Count me out as well.”

“Jane!” Cathy whined. “Please? The project is due in a week!” Anna rolled her eyes.

“A week for one picture? You’ve gotta be mental!” Cathy furrowed her eyebrows, reaching across the table to flick Anna.

“First off it’s a series, second off, there’s more to it than just posing and clicking. There’s art behind it. Design. Intention.” Cathy glared at Anna as she explained. Anna rolled her eyes again, about to respond.

The sound of a lunch tray being dropped on the table right next to her made her flinch.

“What are you lot arguing about now?” Aragon slid into the seat on the other side of Cathy, dragging her tray with her.

“Catherine, is there any chance you’d be willing to be a nude–”

“Nope!” Catherine raised her hand conclusively, “Nope, nope nope.” Cathy gave her puppy dog eyes, pouting excessively.

“Please, guys, I literally just need one person. Just come in, be a nude model, leave. It’ll take like two seconds. Just…please? As a favour?”

“I’ll do it.”

Startled out of her persuasion methods, Cathy’s eyes widened in alarm when she realized who had spoken.

“Sorry?” Cathy had to check. She had to check.

“I’ll do it.” Anne Boleyn sat down next to Kat, smiling broadly, a mischievous twinkle in her eye.

Of-fucking-course, Anne had accepted.

Great. Just great.

“Cathy?” Anne prompted.

“Yeah. Yeah, of course.” Cathy said hoarsely. “Thanks so much.” She found herself unable to look Anne in the eye. Her cheeks burned. Anne raised her eyebrows at Cathy’s silence.

“So…when? Where? How much clothing should I bring?” She prompted, grinning. Cath coughed.

“Um, I usually figure out the details the day of.” She still refused to make eye contact with Anne, instead opting to stare down at her lunch tray. “But I was thinking…maybe Friday or Saturday? Whichever works best for you.” Anne tapped her chin thoughtfully.

“Saturday works.” She grinned.

“Cool, I’ll–” Cath’s breath caught in her throat, “I’ll see you then.” Her cheeks burned, and her eyes stung.

_There’s no reason for you to cry right now. Why are you crying? This is completely normal. She’s doing it because you asked, you can’t just make up an excuse now._

The conversation continued around Cath, but the words were falling upon deaf ears. Cath tried to continue eating her sandwich, but her stomach kept turning.

_Anne’s gonna know, Anne’s gonna know, Anne’s gonna know, Anne’s gonna know, Anne’s gonna know, Anne’s g–_

She stood up abruptly.

“I’ve gotta go.” She awkwardly clambered out of her seat and bolted, not bothering to take her bag with her.

—

There were few things more mortifying than your crush finding you vomiting in a public bathroom.

Unfortunately, that was the exact position Catherine found herself in.

Anne’s expression of genuine concern made her feel even worse.

“Are you okay?” Anne asked, squatting next to Cath and propping her up against the bathroom stall wall. Cath groaned quietly, spitting into the toilet bowl.

“That’s disgusting,” she griped, leaning her head back, hoping that the redness of her cheeks would be dismissed as part of her ailment. Anne chuckled quietly, but Cath could still feel her concerned gaze on her.

“Here,” Anne said softly, “Let’s get you back to your dorm.” She reached forward to help her up, but Cath shrunk back.

“Sorry I can’t,” Cath struggled to speak clearly. “I’m fine, I swear, I just need to…” She sighed. “I’m not sure.” She winced slightly when she caught a glimpse of Anne’s hurt expression, but she couldn’t back down now. Despite her apparent continual concern, Anne nodded, pursing her lips.

“Okay,” She conceded, “but don’t hesitate to call if you need anything, alright?” Cath nodded, flashing her a quick smile. With one last anxious glance, Anne turned around and left the bathroom.

Cath breathed a sigh of relief, spitting into the toilet again in an attempt to rid her mouth of the foul taste, before flushing it. She took a deep breath before standing up and stumbling out of the stall. She trudged over to the row of sinks and began washing her hands. She splashed some in her face, before swishing it around her mouth.

She took a few more deep breaths, pressing her forehead against the cool surface of the mirror.

She sighed heavily, then slammed her forehead against the glass in frustration. The pain was dull, but it helped her think a bit clearer.

Unfortunately, her clearer thoughts were less than benign.

She couldn’t pass up Anne’s offer after openly begging the rest of her friends to comply. And she really did need someone to model. The question was whether or not she was going to be able to complete the project without making Anne feel uncomfortable.

Then again, Anne had volunteered, which meant she must have been comfortable with the idea, not to mention the fact that Anne had never been much of a self-conscious person to begin with.

Cath sighed. She supposed she didn’t have any other options at this point. She’d just have to go with it and hope for the best.

After, what was the worst that could happen? She winced at that thought. In reality, there were a lot of ways this could go wrong.

“Hey." 

Cath looked up, startled, to find Anne standing in the doorway, hands behind her back. Anne bit her lip and glanced around the bathroom anxiously.

"Look, I know you don’t want my help, but you, uh…you left this in the cafeteria,” Anne said quietly, revealing Cath’s camera bag from behind her back. Cath blinked in shock.

“Um. Thank you.” She could feel her cheeks heating up again.

“Yeah, of course,” Anne mumbled, shoving the bag rather unceremoniously into Cath’s arms. “Just, uh…please call if you need anything, alright?” The same concerned look from before graced Anne’s features. Cath smiled genuinely.

“Yeah, for sure. Thanks again,” She waved as Anne slipped back out of the bathroom.

Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.


	2. As Much as You Need the Sun

Catherine mulled over her options as she made her way back up towards her dorm. She had two days to get her shit together. She needed to rent out the studio and come up with a few ideas beforehand. 

She paused momentarily when her phone buzzed from her back pocket, pulling it out before continuing up the stairwell. It was a text from Anna.

anna: gotcha ;)

Cath frowned in confusion.

cathy: what?

She watched the three dots pulse at the bottom of the screen, indicating that Anna was typing. She continued up the stairs, still staring at her phone, almost running into several people along the way.

Her heart jumped into her throat when she read Anna’s response.

anna: i know you have a crush on anne

Cath sucked in a breath, pausing on the staircase, unsure of how to respond. She typed a message out, then deleted it, then typed it again, then deleted it again. Then she took another breath. Anna was trustworthy. She wouldn’t tell anyone if Cath asked her not to.

cathy: okay.

anna: i gotta say…you weren’t very subtle about it today

cathy: …

cathy: well, did you know before today?

anna: no…

anna: …point taken.

cathy: can you…not tell anyone, please? like not even kat?

anna: if that’s what you want, then of course.

anna: you know they’d be fine with it though, right?

cathy: yeah, I know. I just really don’t want to deal with it right now.

anna: yeah, i get what you mean. 

cathy: also…I don’t want to make Anne uncomfortable so don’t like…tease me about it in front of her or anything.

anna: yeah, of course. don’t even worry about it.

cathy: thanks so much :)

anna: for the record, you can’t hold me accountable if the others find out. you’re really not subtle at all

Cath grinned slightly. Of course, Anna would find a way to tease her regardless.

cathy: shut up

Cath breathed a sigh of relief, before resuming her climb up the stairs.

When she finally reached her dorm room, she flopped onto her bed in exhaustion. She didn’t want to think about Saturday. She especially didn’t want to think about the fact that she had, at this point, less than two days to prepare. The shoot itself would be fine; she had done nude shoots before. But she was dreading any and all interactions with Anne after they were finished. She knew she wouldn’t be able to look at her the same, and she was terrified that Anne would find out.

Her phone buzzed again. Cath opened it readily, expecting another message from Anna.

It was from Anne.

Once again, Cath’s heart jumped in her throat. I was too obvious, I was too obvious, she totally knows now. She knows she knows she knows and she’s going to cancel, and she’ll hate me and–

Cath opened it.

anne: oh god i’m so sorry…is there any chance we could do friday (tomorrow lmao) instead of saturday? i forgot i already had a ton of shit planned and i don’t want it to interfere on accident.

Cath stared at the message as her pulse slowly returned to normal. She sighed, fed up with her own anxiety, but simultaneously glad that it had nothing to do with Cath’s apparent “lack of subtlety.” She jumped slightly as her phone buzzed again.

anne: if not then i totally get it, i’ll try to see if i can push some things around and make it work, but i’d hate to have to bail on you

cathy: oh no no no you’re good, don’t worry, tomorrow is totally fine! I’ll adjust the date for renting the studio and we’ll be set. I’ll send you the address and time once I’m done :)

anne: great, thanks so much! i’ll see you tomorrow ;)

cathy: yeah, of course, see you then!

Cath quickly pulled out her laptop, cancelling the pending reservation for Saturday and entering tomorrow’s date. She clicked through the available times and winced, before picking up her phone again.

cathy: is there a particular time that works/doesn’t work for you?

She waited with bated breath, but to her surprise, Anne started typing almost immediately. She chewed on her lip harshly.

anne: i have a class at 1:30, other than that i’m free :)

Cathy narrowed her eyes, assessing their options.

cathy: well we’ll need about two hours total for set up and clean up and everything

anne: i’m sensing there’s a but in there somewhere

cathy: well, the only time available is at 7:00 in the morning.

cathy: the only other times are either not long enough, or one that starts at 1:00.

cathy: unless you want to do a 12:00 to 2:00 nightshift.

anne: 7:00 is totally fine!

cathy: …are you sure?

cathy: no offence but…you don’t exactly strike me as a morning person…

anne: first of all, rude, second, i totally am a morning person and i will prove it to you tomorrow morning @7 >:)

cathy: damn.

cathy: okay fair. 7 it is.

anne: see you then! :)

cathy: yeah, see you!

cathy: remember not to wear clothes!

Cath sat back in alarm. 

Shit.

Why did you send that last text? Anne’s going to think you’re some weirdo now. 

She leaned forward again, ready to do damage control almost immediately, but was startled to find that Anne had already answered.

anne: yeah of course ;)

Cath studied the text for a moment before letting out a breath and typing a quick message back.

cathy: great :) i’ll see you tomorrow then

anne: 👍

Catherine leaned back once again, sighing heavily. 

“Welp. This is going to be an interesting experience.”

–

Cath had set a grand total of seven alarms to make sure she got up on time in the morning. And yet somehow, here she was, rushing to get ready because she had slept through every single one, and her roommate hadn’t bothered to wake her up.

She glanced at the clock anxiously as she pulled on a pair of leggings and an old t-shirt. She still have a little over twenty minutes until their scheduled time, but it took around 15 minutes to walk there, and she wanted to be there a few minutes early so Anne wouldn’t have to wait for her.

Needless to say, her anxiety was spiking more than usual at this time of day.

She grabbed a sweatshirt and her camera bag, pausing by the door just long enough to shove her laptop inside her bag and take her keys and pass off the hook.

She was seriously tempted to run to the studio to avoid being late, but a familiar voice calling from behind stopped Cath in her tracks.

“Cathy!”

Cath felt as though she was unable to turn around. As if doing so would solidify the fact that, once again, Anne Boleyn had managed to catch her at her messiest, sleep-deprived worst. 

Any inner-dilemma she might have had was resolved by Anne sidling up to her and matching her step as they resumed walking.

“You look chipper.” Anne remarked, grinning ear to ear, “I told you I was a morning person.” Sure enough, somewhat to Cath’s dismay, Anne was exceptionally well put together. She was wearing dark green baggy pants with cuffed ends, and black boots, combined with a gray crop top which revealed a sliver of skin between the top of her pants and the hem of the shirt. Her hair was in twin braids, and her make-up minimalistic. She had a bag slung over her shoulder as well.

Cath smiled wryly.

“I never doubted you,” She said matter-of-factly, then gestured to the bag, “You don’t have to bring anything, I have all the equipment I need.” Anne raised her eyebrows.

“Yes, but do you have this?” Anne questioned, pulling out a large travel mug from the depth of the bag. She popped open the lid and handed it to Cath. “I got it on the way. Figured you could use it.” Cath looked at the contents of the mug, and it took her a moment to realize that it was coffee. Not just any coffee, but her favourite coffee from the small shop down the street. A shop which was at least a ten-minute detour from Anne’s dorm. Her gaze shot back up to meet Anne’s.

“Thank you,” She said quietly, slightly startled by the kind gesture. Anne wasn’t by any means a malicious person, however she wasn’t exactly known for being a good Samaritan either. Anne slung her bag back over her shoulder before shoving her hands into her pockets and shrugging sheepishly.

“It’s the least I could do for forcing you to reschedule,” Anne chuckled. Cath waved her off.

“Don’t worry about that. Really, it was no problem at all, it took like two minutes to fix,” She reassured Anne, taking a sip of the coffee and sighing contentedly. 

She could feel Anne’s eyes on her as she cupped both her hands to the warm surface of the travel mug. 

“What are you staring at?” Cath prompted, throwing Anne a sly look. The other girl glanced away, blushing slightly.

“Nothing, sorry. You’re just super…” Anne tilted her head as they walked, clearly searching for the right word. “Tranquil.”

“Ah, yes,” Cath joked, “Me, at seven in the morning, tranquil? Sounds about right.” Anne laughed, and Cath cursed her heart for jumping in her chest. She took another sip of coffee, reveling in the taste.

Cath tried not to focus on Anne’s laugh or her dimples that appear only when she smiled wide enough.

She tried not to focus on the particular way Anne talked when she was excited, always rambling and rewording her sentences as she went until they made sense out loud.

She tried not to focus on Anne’s long, surprisingly graceful strides that Cath struggled to keep up with.

She tried not to focus on Anne.

But every time she took a sip of that damn coffee Anne had given her, her heart began to race again.


	3. You're Singing on Forever

Cath finished the last of her coffee just as they reached the studio.

“I’m making the assumption you want this back?” Cath said with a small grin, handing the travel mug back to Anne. Anne flashed her a sly smile.

“Only if it means I get to treat you with more coffee,” She shot back, winking. Cath snapped her head forward, staring straight ahead, too scared to respond lest she say the wrong thing. Then Anne bumped her shoulder. “Relax, I’m kidding,” She rolled her eyes good-naturedly at Cath, who let out a quiet sigh of both relief and disappointment.

Once they reached the building, Cath checked herself in, signing her name in the space provided beneath her time slot, before entering the studio. She absentmindedly held the door open with her foot to allow Anne to follow suit. The other girl let out a gasp and fake-swooned.

“And they say romance is dead!” Anne jested, clutching her chest dramatically, before grinning and following Cath inside. Cath felt her cheeks burn as she laughed along, letting the door swing closed.

“The bathroom’s around the corner,” Cath said, pointing in the direction of the facility while still blushing lightly. “Do you have like…a robe or something?” She couldn’t make eye contact with Anne, instead busying herself with getting out all her equipment. Anne, in turn, quickly pulled out a bundle of coloured cloth.

“I have this,” She grinned, letting the fabric unfurl. Cath looked up and immediately burst out laughing.

It was a onesie with a naked middle-aged man’s body depicted on the front.

“Good lord,” Cath wheezed, “Of course, that’s what you have.” Anne grinned even wider, holding it up against herself.

“I think it suits me,” She said, snickering.

“Go change!” Cath ordered, giving Anne a light shove, but still giggling quietly. Anne flashed her another brilliant grin before sashaying flamboyantly in the direction Cath had pointed.

She continued to set up her tripod, adjusting the lights and modifying the camera settings accordingly.

A few minutes later, Anne returned, wearing the onesie and fixing her hair. She strutted over to Cath, before softening her posture slightly. She stood to the side for a moment, as if contemplating something.

“How do you want me to present?” Anne finally asked her, her tone surprisingly soft and hesitant – two traits which rarely graced themselves upon Anne Boleyn. Cath paused from her work, looking up at her.

“I’m afraid I don’t quite catch your drift.” She responded, tilting her head and focusing solely on Anne’s face to avoid getting distracted. Anne shifted, shrugging her shoulders repeatedly, before leaning forward and tapping the side of Cath’s head.

“What’re the ideas you’ve come up with? What’s the theme of the shoot? Are going for a more traditional, or are you going to try to make a statement, or…?” Anne raised an eyebrow, moving her hands in an “either-or” motion. Cath nodded along in understanding.

“Well,” She started, before coming to an abrupt halt. Suddenly her heart was beating in her throat, which was ridiculous because Anne didn’t even take photography; Cath could say almost anything and Anne would have no frame of reference to challenge her from. And yet, describing her ideas, which had been indirectly and unintentionally derived from Cath’s feelings for Anne, felt much too personal. It felt like sharing a piece of her soul.

Which was even more ridiculous considering the ideas didn’t have any apparent connection to Anne.

Cath knew she was being ridiculous. She really did.

But nevertheless, it took her a few seconds to swallow and regain her composure before beginning her explanation.

“Well, I thought maybe, if you’re okay with it…” Cath turned to the table beside her where her bag lay and pulled out a large bucket of green paint. “I originally was going to get red, but I figured green would be more your style.” She back over to Anne, searching for approval. Anne’s face split into a grin.

“You mean I get to play in paint?” The light in Anne’s eyes made Cath laugh even as her heart fluttered.

“Yeah, I guess you could say that,” She chuckled, emptying the smaller tubes of different coloured paints. “I also have these for accents and more of a variety.” She spread her hands. Anne grinned even wider, if it were possible, striding over to admire the vast array of colours and paints. She glanced sideways at Cath.

“What made you think of this?” She asked, voice filled with excitement. For the hundredth time that day, Cath’s face burned as her cheeks turned red. She coughed harshly.

“Well, um,” She hesitated, “I guess I wanted it to be fun?” Well, that wasn’t a complete lie. “And I wanted you to feel comfortable,” Truth. “And I know you like paint, and I know you like green,” Also a truth. “And I thought it would look cool?” She finished somewhat lamely. Anne clapped her on the shoulder.

“Hell yeah it will,” She winked, then turned to the table. “So what do you want me to do specifically with the paint?” Cath considered Anne’s question for a moment, before grabbing her paint key and breaking the seal on the paint can.

“Well, that’s the beauty of it,” She explained opened the container, using a paint stick to mix the paint, “One of the aspects of this project is capturing the human form in both a vulnerable and a relaxed nature,” She dipped the tips of her fingers in the paint, smiling slyly, “The paint isn’t here for art. It’s here for this,” And on that note, Cath promptly reached forward and smeared the paint on her fingertips along Anne’s cheek.

Anne reeled away in surprised, one hand flying up to her face as the other darted out to swat Cath playfully.

“You bitch!” Anne laughed gleefully, “I can’t believe you did that!” Anne scraped some of the paint off her cheek and wiped the dollop on Cath’s nose, who made a face, despite letting out a soft laugh.

“Okay, okay,” Cath felt her shoulders relax slightly, “As much as I would love to have a paint fight right now, we should probably get started,” Anne nodded reluctantly, taking the paint over to the tarp that Cath had set up under the lights. Cath busied herself with continuing to adjust her camera settings as Anne stripped.

“So you just want me to mess around with the paint?” Anne called. Cath clenched her jaw and forced herself to take a deep breath.

“Yeah,” She winced at how thin her voice sounded, “Just mess around. Do whatever makes you feel comfortable. Don’t worry about how it looks,” She instructed without looking up. Anne hummed in acknowledgement.

“All done!” Anne called from the tarp. Cath felt her cheeks begin to heat up as she pretended to be distracted by a specific setting.

“Awesome,” She flashed Anne a thumbs up without looking up, “You can just go to the taped out area. Grab a block to sit or stand on or whatever you’d like.” At first, Anne remained still – or so Cath assumed – as she didn’t pick up any sounds of movement coming from the tarp. After a few moments, however, the rustling of a tarp filled the room, followed by the strangely eerie sound of bare feet padding on concrete.

“Is everything alright?” Anne’s voice came from right in front of her, once again occupying that soft and hesitant tone, “You…” Cath could hear Anne fidget slightly, as if only at that moment realizing that she was standing there with no clothes on. “You haven’t looked me in the eye, or even in the face all morning.” Cath stopped pretending to adjust settings on her camera, a wave of guilt washing over her. Anne took a deep breath, barreling onward. “I just wanted to make sure nothing was wrong, that I hadn’t said something stupid that offended you or made you uncomfortable?” Cath mustered up all her willpower and looked Anne in the eyes. The genuine hurt and concern that she found caused a lump to form in her throat.

She didn’t want to lose this incredible person.

“No, you didn’t at all,” Cath said softly, giving Anne a tight smile, “I was just…” She paused, selecting her words as carefully as possible without making it sound forced, “I didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable. I wasn’t sure how willing you were to…you know…do this,” She gestured towards the paint and her setup, keenly avoiding looking at anything other than Anne’s face.

“Cath,” Anne let out a slightly exasperated laugh, “I wouldn’t do something I didn’t want to do, that’s… that’s not me,” She rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly, “I’m only comfortable if you’re comfortable. But in all honesty?” She shrugged, “If you really want to be a photographer, you’re going to need to be able to look at naked people all the time. And look at ones that aren’t as beautiful as me,” She added at the end, grinning humorously. Cath snorted, rolling her eyes in amusement before nodding.

No one is as beautiful as you.

“I know, I’m sorry for being weird about it,” She winced. Anne waved her off.

“It’s totally fine. I get that it’s a sensitive subject for a lot of people. But like… we’re here to make art, yeah?” She cocked an eyebrow at Cath, “Well today, I’m the art. And you, the artist, have to look at your art in the eye and make the art your bitch.” Cath nodded again, chuckling at the crass comment.

You are art.

“Yeah, I’ll… I’ll work on that,” Cath smiled genuinely, pausing slightly, before laughing quietly, “Now go to the taped area!” She gestured dramatically. Anne grinned and saluted.

“Will do!” Anne marched off, “Time to be a work of art!”

You’re always a work of art.


	4. When You Ink it in Blood

Cath’s mind was reeling.

She was more exhausted now than she was when she ran a 5K directly after taking a three-hour final exam.

She couldn’t be more grateful that Anne had refused her offer to help wash the paint off. It gave her at least ten minutes to breathe and clear her head.

She had already cleaned up the tarp and paint in the studio, breaking down the background and putting away all the equipment.

So here she was, curled up in a ball in the corner of the room, fingers laced through her hair as she struggled to breathe.

If Anna were here, she would laugh and joke about an “overload of gay.”

But the only thing Cath could think about was not choking on her own anxious thoughts.

The shoot itself had been extremely successful. The images had turned out exactly how Cath had imagined, the green paint not only allowing Anne to relax, but also creating a surprisingly artistic flare.

But the strain in Cath’s chest and the burning in her cheeks and the fluttering in her stomach and the thoughts in her head had culminated as they worked, making everything too loud, too busy, too much. Despite the room now being almost entirely empty, her pulse pounded in her head.

She struggled to suck in deep, wheezing breaths, hugging her knees to her chest and counting by multiples of three.

_Pull yourself together. You don’t have time to have a breakdown._

She strained her ears slightly, and a small wave of relief washed over her as she heard the faint rumble of the plumbing, indicating that Anne was still washing off the paint.

Cath stood up slowly, swaying slightly. Hands still shaking, she made her way over to the table with her camera bag and materials, checking to make sure she had collected everything before zipping the bag up and leaning heavily on the table.

“It’s fine,” She breathed the words out, “It’s fine. Everything’s fine. Calm down,” She pulled her hair, which had become rather unkempt during the shoot, up into a messy bun, securing it out of the way before leaning back down on the table.

To her slight alarm, she realized she could no longer catch the sound of the struggling water pipes. Sure enough, a few moments later, the screeching of the door echoes through the empty facility, and Anne stepped out in the clothes she had been wearing earlier that morning. Cath almost wished she had worn the old man onesie again. That at least would have given her an excuse to avert her eyes.

“Hey!” Anne said cheerily, running her fingers through her tangled hair, “How did the photos turn out?” Cath’s stomach flip-flopped, and once again, her cheeks began to burn. She squeezed her eyes shut tight, still leaning on the table.

“Good. They’re really good,” She responded with a strained smile, “Thanks again for agreeing to do this.”

“Yeah, of course, it was nothing,” Anne’s voice sounded from right beside her, and Cath jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She opened her eyes and whipped around to look at the other girl. “I know I’ve asked this about twenty times, but I feel like, as your friend, I should ask again.”

_As your friend._

_As your friend._

“What’s up?” Cath hated how weary her voice sounded, especially once she saw the increase of concern in Anne’s face.

“Are you okay?” The intonation of Anne’s voice made Cath want to cry. Before she could respond, Anne continued, “I mean, it’s become pretty obvious to me that something is wrong, so don’t try to tell me that you’re fine because clearly, you’re not fine, but I can’t help but think that maybe I’ve done something? And I dunno…I’ve never seen you like this with any of our other friends, so…” Anne trailed off uncomfortably. Cath swallowed hard, unable to answer. Anne seemed to take her silence as confirmation. “Whatever I’ve done, I take it back. I never meant to offend you, and I’m really sorry, and I swear whatever it was it was an accident. Just…tell me what I did, please? I want to fix it,” Anne’s voice cracked slightly on the last few words. Cath’s stomach dropped.

_You made her cry. You made her cry. You made her cry. You made her cry. You made her cry. You made her cry. You made her cry. You made her cry. You made her cry. You made her cry._

“No!” Cath burst out much too loudly for it to sound normal, “I mean…sorry, no. You haven’t done anything wrong at all, you’re fine. I’m just,” Cath scrambled for an excuse, “I’m really tired.” Wow, very original. “I haven’t been sleeping well the past few weeks, and my anxiety’s been acting up a lot more. I just really wanted to get this shoot done,” Cath explained, hating how easily the lie rolled off her tongue once she started, “I’m just really glad it’s over, and I can sleep now.” She ended with a laugh, which died in her throat awkwardly.

Anne’s expression made it clear that she didn’t believe her, but she quickly covered it up, nodding along and grinning in relief.

“Well, that’s good to hear then,” Anne’s smile didn’t reach her eyes, “Now that we’re done you can go and take a nap.” Cath smiled as well.

“Yeah, I’ll, uh,” She winced slightly, “I’ll go do that.” Anne nodded.

“Cool.”

“Yeah, well, uh,” Cath threw her an awkward thumbs up, then a peace sign, then a salute, “See you later, I guess. Thanks again.” She pushed the door open and exited the building in humiliation. She all but ran back to her dorm room, trying three times to get the door open before finally succeeding. In her hurry to get inside the room before a panic attack started, she failed to notice someone who definitely was not her roommate sitting on her bed.

“Hey,” Anna of Cleves grinned from where she sat criss-cross on Cath’s bed. Cath let out an embarrassingly loud yelp.

“What are you doing here?” She said in an extremely high-pitched voice.

“Being a good friend,” Anna responded cooly, revealing a bag from behind her back. “I knew this morning would be stressful for you, so I thought I’d get together a ‘Cathy Parr cannot handle The Gay’ care package.” She pulled out several bottles of water, some pretzels and M&M’s, followed by The Princess Bride and Shrek. “I’ve got a variety of options.”

Cath snorted, then promptly burst into tears. Anna sighed and opened her arms.

“C’ mere,” She smiled sympathetically. Cath clambered onto the bed and wrapped her arms tightly around Anna’s torso, trying to force herself to calm down. Anna patted her back, “Let it all out, babes. Let it all out.” Cath took in shuddering breaths.

“I feel so stupid for getting so upset about it,” She gasped out, desperately trying to control her breathing, “It’s so stupid but I’m just so overwhelmed, like all the time,” She could feel Anna hum softly against the top of her head, rubbing circles against her back. “It’s just that she’s literally perfect, and every time she talks to me, I pull away and make her feel bad, and it’s just so fucking stupid!”

“Hey, hey no, it’s not stupid,” Anna pulled away and handed her a box of tissues, “It’s not stupid. It really isn’t,” Anna grinned slightly, “Do you remember right before Kat and I got together? D'ya remember that?” Cath nodded childishly, rubbing her eyes. Anna smiled softer this time, “Do you remember what you told me when I was freaking out about it?” Cath snorted.

“No,” She responded wetly, pouting slightly. Anna rolled her eyes, scoffing.

“Well I remember,” Anna grinned cheekily, “You told me 'if you don’t start flirting with her then I will flirt with her for you.’” Cath winced.

“I’m pretty sure I was drunk when I told you that.” She said, but let out a small chuckle at the end.

“Oh yeah,” Anna nodded knowingly, “You were shitfaced. But,” She spread her hands, “I’m still going to return the favour.”

“What, you’re going to flirt with Anne for me?” Cath asked incredulously. “That seems like a bit much, even for you.”

“First off, never underestimate me, second, no,” Anna conceded, “But I am going to help you flirt with her and not have a mental breakdown every time she smiles at you.” Cath frowned, punching Anna lightly on the arm, but she could feel the knot in her stomach finally begin to unwind.

“Okay,” She nodded slowly, before laying back into the bed, “So how do you do that again?” Anna shook her head.

“Nope. We’re not dealing with that now,” Anna wagged a finger at Cath, “Right now, we’re going to plan a movie night with the squad. MINUS Anne,” She added after seeing the anxious look return to Cath’s face. Cath looked down slightly but stayed silent for a few moments.

“Can we just relax for a bit though?” She asked quietly, fiddling with the knitted blanket on her bed. Anna nodded sympathetically, eyes soft.

“Of course,” She pulled the snacks and movies with her as she sat back, “So, The Princess Bride or Shrek?” Cath wrinkled her nose.

“Well, we can’t watch Shrek without also watching Shrek 2 and Shrek 3, so let’s go with The Princess Bride for now,” She said thoughtfully. Anna laughed.

“Sounds like a plan to me.”


	5. Are We Better Human Beings?

A few quick texts, some hurried organization, and three more people joined Cath and Anna in Cath’s dorm room.

“What’s the motivation behind this occasion?” Catherine of Aragon asked lightly, giving Cath a quick side hug and shoulder bumping Anna before finally settling in the rolling chair in the corner of the cramped room. “I’m not going to help you hide a body, just for the record. You’re on your own there.” Cath rolled her eyes.

“I didn’t murder anyone.” Cath said exasperatedly, “I just…” She trailed off, realizing that she couldn’t explain the reasoning for her breakdown without also admitting to her feelings for Anne. Anna quickly stepped in to save her.

“Cath needed a mental health day,” She explained smoothly, “I thought a squad movie night was in order.”

“And is there a particular reason Anne isn’t on the guestlist?” Catherine continued, raising an eyebrow slightly. “Did SHE murder someone?”

“No, no one’s been murdered,” Anna answered cooly, “Anne couldn’t make it tonight.”

“Are we sure this doesn’t have anything to do with Cath’s massive crush on Anne?” Jane piped up from Cath’s roommate’s bed.

“Wait, since when does Cath have a massive crush on Annie?” Kat asked, clearly bewildered.

Cath felt her stomach drop. Anna gave her a look that handed over responsibility. The message was clear: this is up to you.

“Um,” Cath cleared her throat, “I mean, I wouldn’t call it a MASSIVE crush, but…” She said in a small voice, trailing off and squeezing her eyes shut.

She felt the air whoosh out of her lungs as someone tackled her in a bear hug.

“Catherine Parr, you useless bisexual,” Catherine of Aragon’s voice sounded right next to her ear.

“Ouch,” Cath wheezed slightly but hugged Catherine back.

“Oh come on, Cath, we’ve known for weeks!” Jane exclaimed in exasperation, tossing the blankets she had collected from her flat onto Cath’s bed.

“Why does no one tell me these things?” Cath squeaked. “I’ve been agonizing over this for forever!”

“If it makes you feel any better, I had no idea,” Kat grinning sheepishly, shifting from her position in Anna’s lap.

“Wait,” Cath frowned, confused, “So did you all discuss this and agree on it, or did three people come to this conclusion?”

“Well, if they did discuss it, they didn’t include me,” Kat pouted.

“We didn’t discuss it,” Anna laughed, patting Kat’s knee and kissing the top of her head reassuringly, “You’re just very, very obvious.”

“Stop saying that!” Cath whined, “It’s really not helping!”

“I only say it ‘cause it’s true!” Anna put her hands up in surrender. Catherine pulled away, ruffling Cath’s hair fondly, before eyeing her seriously.

“Listen, Cath, you know that I’ll love you no matter what, but out of everyone you could have chosen to have a crush on, you HAD to choose Anne Boleyn?” Despite her tone, Catherine’s words were playful, and there was mirth in her eyes, causing Cath to grin bashfully and shove the older woman lightly.

“The heart wants what it wants, Catherine!” Jane said, wapping Aragon in the shoulder with a pillow.

“Jane! Don’t phrase it like that!” Cath whined again, “That makes me sound like some pathetic lovesick girl from a shitty rom-com who’s about to make a bad decision!” Jane spread her hands.

“I mean, you tick most of those boxes,” She said, laughing.

“That’s so rude!” Cath pouted. A knock on the door interrupted the commotion, and, still laughing easily, Cath managed to pry herself away.

“I’ll get it,” She grinned, “My roommate probably just forgot her key or something.” She opened the door swiftly, already prepared to let her roommate in.

Who she found on her doorstep was definitely not her roommate, but instead the one and only Anne Boleyn.

_Shit._

Any hopes of concealing the gathering inside were dashed as Jane called out to her.

“Cath, love, who is it at the door? Is it your roommate?”

Recognition sparked in Anne’s eyes, and before Cath could react, Anne pushed the door open all the way, revealing the other four girls.

The silence that filled the air was thick and stuffy, everyone too scared to say anything lest they make their unfortunate situation a reality.

Anne nodded slowly, chewing on her lip, staring intently at the ground. She looked up, surveying the room, then looked back at Cath. Her eyes were filled with a strange combination of contempt and betrayal.

“Well, since I’m obviously not welcome here, I guess I’ll take my leave,” Anne’s voice was dead calm, “Have a good evening.” She promptly turned on her heel and began to stride down the hallway.

“Anne, wait!” Cath lunged forward, trying to catch the other girl’s wrist, missing spectacularly and tumbling to the ground. Much to her chagrin, her dorm room door swung closed, leaving her sprawled out on the floor in the hallway.

_Fuck._

Cath wasted no time springing to her feet and dashing after Anne.

“Anne, wait, please,” Cath pleaded. This time Anne turned around as she walked, and Cath could see faint tear tracks down her face.

“What, Cathy?” Anne’s voice was thick, and the tone in which she spat out the previously sweet nickname make Cath’s stomach sour, “Are you planning on using your intellect to worm your way around this?”

“No, Anne, if you’ll just let me explain–”

“There’s nothing to explain!” Anne threw her hands up in exasperation, turning back around and extending her strides so that Cath had to job to keep up with her, “I have tried EVERYTHING to get you to talk to me, to tell me what’s wrong, and the first chance you get you run off and hit up all our other friends to have a big dramatic sleepover?” Anne glanced back at her with a look of disdain. “I mean, come on. Surely, you can see why I’m a little upset?” Anne’s voice dripped with sarcasm. Cath attempted to grab her wrist again, but Anne snatched it away, stopping dead in her tracks. Cath could see the tears now, streaking down Anne’s pale cheeks.

“Anne, I–”

“Save it.” Anne took a deep, shuddering breath. “I am done worrying over what you think of me. I’m done with your lame excuses or your silly explanations. Either you give me a complete and honest answer, or I walk away.” Cath stared at her in dismay.

“Anne…”

“Listen, I get this may be a joke to you, but it isn’t to me.” Anne clenched her jaw. “So tell me: what is wrong?” Cath chewed her lip, unable to make eye contact.

“It’s not a joke to me,” She mumbled quietly, not risking a glance up.

“Can you give me an answer or not?” Anne’s voice was sharp. Cath looked up briefly, and the expectant look on Anne’s face was enough to bring her to tears. Anne sighed. “I really thought–” Anne’s voice cracked harshly, “I really thought I could get through to you,” The words came out strained and hoarse. Cath looked up at her, face on fire with shame.

“I’m sorry,” She whispered. Anne shook her head.

“No, you’re not.” Anne pulled away, “You’re not sorry about a damn thing. You don’t fucking care,” There was a strange look in Anne’s eyes, one which Cath couldn’t quite place.

“I do care, Anne, please just listen to me–” Cath tried again, but Anne cut her off.

“About what?” She shot back. 

“You scare me,” Cath said quietly. Anne flinched.

“What?” Anne’s voice lost all of its edge; it sounded hollow, almost forlorn. Cath looked up at her tearfully.

“You scare me, Anne,” Cath continued truthfully, “Whenever I’m around you, I’m on edge. I feel like I’m about to throw up or have a panic attack or something. And it’s like,” She sighed, rubbing her face with her hands, “I just feel overwhelmed all the time when I’m around you, and I can’t keep on pretending it’s okay. 'Cause it’s not,” She shrugged, “It’s not okay, and it’s having a negative impact on you, and that’s the last thing I want,” She trailed off for a moment.

“Well, you could have just said you didn’t want to be around me,” Anne said bitterly.

“Except I do,” Cath groaned, her voice growing louder as she started rambling faster, “I do want to be around you, like all the time, which is so stupid because of your effect on me, but I can’t help it because you’re incredible and I just want to spend time with you like a normal fucking person and–” Cath cut herself off, taking a deep breath.

She could feel every heartbeat in her chest, every breath she took.

“And inexplicably,” She continued in a voice so soft it was barely audible, “I think, somewhere along the way, I may have fallen in love with you.”


	6. We've Got Our Wires All Crossed

Time really was a strange thing. It’s never something that one pays attention too until they realize how slow or fast it is moving. And really, it was created simply to put a title to an intangible thing, a concept with no resolution.

The only reason any time passes at all is that scientists and philosophers dictated how long each prescribed period would be. A day is how long it takes for the Earth to spin around once. A month is anywhere from 28 to 31 of these days. A year is how long it takes for the Earth to complete one revolution around the sun.

And these are all just names that we’ve allotted these periods. We could have decided that a year was two revolutions around the sun, or that a week was 12 days instead of 7. The only reason we think of time as we do is because of the specific names and periods we’ve assigned together.

These were the thoughts swirling through Catherine Parr’s head as she once again found herself hunched over, emptying the contents of her stomach into the toilet bowl, thanking whatever deities were out there that tomorrow was a Saturday.

It was almost amusing how, even at her worst, Cath’s mind refused to stop racing. Her throat burned, and her eyes watered as she finally allowed herself to slump against the wall in defeat.

“Hey,” A voice sounded from behind her, causing her to jump and whip around. Anna of Cleves sat down next to her.

“Oh. Hey,” Cath croaked, “I thought you were…” She cleared her throat, “I thought you were someone else.”

“Anne?” Anna questioned, raising her eyebrows sympathetically. Cath inhaled deeply, nodding. Anna stayed quiet for a while, merely sitting there, one hand resting gently against Cath’s spine. Eventually, she jutted her chin at the toilet bowl, “D'ya think you’re done?” Cath shrugged, exhausted.

“I don’t know,” She replied truthfully. Anna stayed silent for a while longer.

“D'ya think moving somewhere other than the floor of a communal bathroom would help?” Anna asked softly. Again, Cath lifted a shoulder, too tired to do much else.

“Maybe,” She whispered, “Probably,” Her chest felt heavy. Once again, they lapsed into silence. Then Anna stood up, flushed the toilet, and abruptly leaned down to grab Cath by her armpits.

“C'mon,” She grinned slightly despite Cath’s protests, lifting her like a ragdoll and propping her up. “I’m not going to let you fall into a slump, alright?” She forced Cath to look her in the eyes, “Alright?”

“Alright! Just don’t do that without warning!” Cath conceded, frowning. Anna shrugged.

“Too late,” She replied, before leaning over again and throwing Cath over her shoulder, “I’m being a good friend.” Cath huffed, mumbling several colourful curse words in another language under her breath. Anna snorted as she began walking, “You know I know German, right? You can’t swear in German and expect me not to understand every word you’re saying.”

“That was the point,” Cath grumbled, “You’re gonna make me throw up again.” Anna’s strides faltered.

“Actually?”

“No,” Cath muttered. Anna snorted, resuming her quick pace. Cath lifted her head slightly, “Where are we going?”

“My dorm room. My roommate is going to be out anyways. You can hide in there until you feel better,” Anne replied coolly.

“You’re a really good friend,” Cath responded quietly. She could feel the vibrations of Anna’s laughter.

“I know.”

“No, I’m serious,” Cath twisted around to look at her, “Thank you. For everything you’ve done. I really do appreciate it a lot. And,” She took a breath, “I’m sorry I’m such a disaster all the time,” Anna sighed.

“Cath, you are not a disaster all the time,” She said resignedly, “Only some of the time,” She continued cheekily, winking. Cath groaned, hitting Anna lightly on the shoulder.

“I regret saying nice things about you now.”

“You didn’t even say that many nice things!” Anna laughed boisterously.

“Well, I’m not gonna say any more!” Cath pouted, crossing her arms and pretending to sulk. Anna just rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. I know I’m great.”

–

“Would you prefer Advil or Tylenol?” Anna called from inside her closet.

“What’s the difference?” Cath asked, closing her eyes and resting her arms over her forehead.

“I don’t know,” Anna poked her head out, shrugging as she inspected the drug facts labelled on the back. “Ah, well, the Tylenol is expired, so,” Anna tossed the bottle of Advil to Cath, “Advil it is!”

“Thanks,” Cath murmured, attempting to undo the child lock. She fumbled with the bottle clumsily, scrunching her nose in frustration. Anna snorted.

“Do you need some assistance?” She laughed as Cath continued to struggle with the bottle. Cath glared at her.

“If I didn’t feel like shit right now, I would have a really witty comeback.” She grumbled, before handing it over. Anne opened the bottle, handing Cath two tablets and the bottle of water she had grabbed from her desk.

Anna didn’t speak as Cath took the medicine, instead watching her closely.

“Do you wanna talk?” She asked finally in a gentle tone. Cath took a long sip of water, swallowing harshly and pulling her knees up to her chest.

“I ran,” She mumbled, and her eyes widened as the events of the day washed over her. Anna tilted her head.

“What happened?” She questioned, still in the same gentle tone. Cath let out an embarrassing whimper as she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to will the tears away. The exhaustion from the photoshoot, to their friends finding out, to her conversation with Anne had sapped her of all her energy. The last thing she wanted to do was cry again.

“I told her,” Cath choked out, “I told her and then ran.”

With these words, Cath broke down again. Anna’s eyebrows knit together, and she quickly wrapped her arms around the other girl in a tight hug.

“She was so mad,” Cath gasped, “You should have seen her Anna she was–she was so angry,” Cath’s entire body shook, “She kept saying that I didn’t care and I-1 didn’t know what to say!” Anna rubbed her back, cradling Cath.

“Shhhhhh, it’s okay,” Anna comforted gently. Cath fisted Anna’s shirt, pulling herself closer.

“I just,” Cath’s sobs shuddered to a stop, “I just said I was in love with her,” She inhaled deeply, “And then I ran,” She leaned back, wiping her eyes, “I couldn’t bear to see her reaction.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Anna smiled softly, grabbing Cath by the shoulders, “It’s okay, you don’t need to think about it right now. Let your body calm down,” She pulled Cath back into a hug, “You’ve been through enough today. Just rest.” Cath nodded.

“I just feel so stupid, you know?” She leaned her head against Anna’s shoulder, “I don’t think I’ve ever been this distraught about anything, let alone a crush. I still don’t even know why I keep getting so upset.”

She was cut off from continuing when Anna’s phone pinged from the other side of the room. Cath flinched slightly, but Anna ignored it, pulling Cath tighter into her embrace.

The phone pinged again. Then a third time. Then it began to ring.

Cath pulled away from the hug, gestured with her head in the direction of the phone.

“You should probably pick that up,” She sniffed, giving Anna a watery smile. Anna shrugged, clambering off the bed.

“I don’t think it’s more important than–” Anna stopped herself when she reached the phone. Cath craned her neck, concerned.

“What is it? Who’s calling? Is everything alright?” She couldn’t keep the anxious tone out of her voice. Anna frowned.

“It’s Kat, but…” She glanced up at Cath, “Kat never calls me on the phone. Ever. Either we text or we FaceTime.” Anna swiftly answered it, slipping outside of the room and into the hallway.

Cath could only hear snippets of the conversation, which only heightened her anxiety. She wiped her sweaty palms on her pants, fiddling with the hem of her shirt.

When Anna returned, she had an unreadable expression on her face.

“You need to talk to Anne,” She said seriously, “Like. As soon as possible.” Cath stared at her with wide eyes.

“You’re kidding, right?” Cath whispered incredulously, “I literally just told you what I told her. I’m not going to go back into that kind of situation.” Anna shifted nervously.

“I really think you should,” Her eyebrows knitted together, but still, Cath couldn’t quite figure out what she was thinking.

“Well, can you at least tell me why?” Cath pressed, “Can you give me anything?” Anne shrugged, seemingly at a loss.

“I don’t know,” Her answer seemed genuine, “Kat just said something about Anne freaking out, she kept saying your name or something,” Anna huffed, “She just said she needed to talk to you. I don’t know,” She sighed, “Kat sounded really upset.”

Cath stared at her for a while, eyes wide, weighing her options.

“Where is she? Do you know?” She surprised herself with her response. Anna’s brow furrowed yet again, and she glanced down at her phone.

“Kat says that they’re both by the Library,” She responded. Cath groaned quietly.

“That’s so far away,” She whined, rubbing her face in exhaustion, “Am I really doing this right now?” Anna just stared at her blankly. Cath huffed, then laughed mirthlessly, “Okay. Okay, I’m going. This is going to fucking suck,” She added under her breath. Anna held a hand out.

“C'mon. It’ll be fine,” Anna grinned, “Worst comes to worst, just run back here and take refuge,” Cath rolled her eyes, but accepted Anna’s hand and pulled herself up.

“Wow, that’s so reassuring,” She quipped sarcastically. Anna shrugged. Cath snorted, “Alright. This is gonna be a fucking nightmare.”

“Good luck,” Anna laughed.


	7. I'm Straining to Remember

The worst part about choosing to meet Anne outside the library was the fact that Cath could see the other girl from a half a mile away.

Anne was sitting on a concrete bench, elbows on her knees, hands clasped, and head bowed, almost as if she was praying. Her dark hair fell like a curtain in front of her face, obscuring her expression from Cath.

Cath couldn’t help but subconsciously glance around to see if Kat was nearby as well, but she was nowhere to be found. Cath wasn’t sure if that relieved her or made her more on edge.

She shoved her hands self-consciously into her sweatshirt pockets, realizing only at that moment that she hadn’t changed her clothes since that morning. She wished she had freshened up at least a little after puking her guts out. She should have at least brushed her teeth.

Any degree of mirth she had felt before had vanished.

When she was around 100 meters away, Anne sat up abruptly, as if sensing Cath’s presence. She glanced sideways and sat up even straighter when she saw Cath walking towards her. As it turned out, it wouldn’t have helped if Cath had seen her face; Anne’s expression was unreadable.

Cath steeled herself as she walked, taking deep breaths, before waving at Anne with a tight-lipped smile.

“Hey,” She couldn’t help but mentally congratulate herself for not letting her voice crack. She stopped in front of Anne awkwardly, absentmindedly noting the redness around Anne’s eyes that indicated she had been crying. She pointed to the open spot next to Anne, “Uh…is that seat taken?” She asked quietly. Anne threw her a small smile.

“No, it’s, uh,” She laughed sheepishly, running a hand through her hair, “It’s for you, actually,” Cath nodded, mouthing ‘oh’ and sitting down. They sat in silence for a few uncomfortable moments. Cath watched a biker cross the open patio several hundred yards away.

“So uh,” Cath started, “What was it you wanted to talk about?” Cath cocked her head to the side, preparing herself mentally for the worst. Anne inhaled deeply, taking Cath’s hand.

“I love you,” Anne’s voice wobbled slightly as she said it, “But,” She sighed and turned, looking Cath in the eyes, “I’m not IN love with you.”

Cath felt like she’d been punched in the gut. She hadn’t expected any different. But hearing Anne say it, with tears in her eyes and sincerity in her voice, was a thousand timed more painful than anything she could have conjured up in her imagination.

A cynical part of her was grateful that she had cried her eyes out already. She didn’t want to endure the humiliation of crying in front of Anne.

“It’s fine,” Cath replied, her own voice surprisingly steady. She smiled tightly, “Really, Anne, it’s fine. I don’t expect anything from you. I just couldn’t stand for you to think I hated you.” Cath could see Anne’s jaw clench as gentle tears began to drip down her cheeks.

“You mean so much to me, you know that right?” Anne laughed tearfully, “You’re one of the most important people in my life.” She wiped her eyes, “I’m sorry. God, I’m so sorry, I just,” She gasped through her tears, “You’re amazing. And I’m a fool to not be in love with you. But I’m not, and I just,” She sighed, “You deserve better, you deserve so much better,” Anne used her sleeve to wipe away her tears. Cath smiled sadly.

“Anne, it’s okay,” Cath swallowed hard, “You don’t need to apologize, it’s not your fault.”

“Yeah, but it’s not yours either!” Anne protested, “I just…I wish I could do something.”

“You don’t need to do anything,” Cath reassured, “There’s nothing you CAN do.” Anne sighed, wiping her eyes and settling down slightly.

“I…” Anne stopped herself as if considering what she wanted to say, “I’d never stop being your friend because of something like this. Just for the record,” She laughed slightly, “You can’t get out of this friendship that easily,” Cath laughed.

_Friendship._

_Friendship._

_Friendship._

Cath cleared her throat uncomfortably.

“Yeah, I’m sorry,” Cath mumbled. Anne shook her head.

“If it’s not my fault, then it’s definitely not yours,” Anne said gently, squeezing Cath’s hand. She might as well have been squeezing Cath’s heart. “And uh, in the future?” Anne said hesitantly, “Just tell me what’s wrong. I’m always here for you. It doesn’t matter what it is.” Cath nodded with another tight-lipped smile.

“Of course. I’ll keep that in mind,” She replied quietly. At this point, she was itching to leave. Anne, as if sensing how uncomfortable Cath was, retracted her hand.

“I am sorry. About all this,” Anne murmured, “I could have handled the whole situation better. Trying to make a point wouldn’t be worth losing you.” Cath smiled sadly.

“It’s okay,” She stood up slowly, “Really, Anne, it’s okay.” She stepped back slightly. “I’ll see you tomorrow, alright?” Anne looked up at her anxiously.

“Are you…are you okay?” Anne asked hesitantly. Cath chuckled.

“I will be,” She mused ruefully.

_I have to be._

And with that, Cath turned on her heel, walking briskly back towards Anna’s dorm building.

–

Cath waved forlornly as Anna opened the door.

“I’m back,” Cath quipped humorlessly. Anna inspected her.

“You’re not crying,” She said cautiously, “But you’re also not smiling. How did it go?” Anna asked as she opened the door wider to let Cath in.

“It wasn’t great, I’ll be honest,” Cath said dryly.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Anna asked, sitting back on her bed.

“No, I want to binge the entire Shrek trilogy and eat some motherfucking pretzels.”

Anna laughed loudly.

“Fair enough.” Anna pulled out her laptop.

–

Cath sighed heavily, twisting her fingers into her curls and tugging sharply on her hair.

Sometimes she hated being one of the only punctual people in her friend groups. It meant she had to stand alone on a Monday morning outside a small breakfast place, waiting for someone to arrive so she didn’t look like such a loner.

They had agreed to all meet at the restaurant at 9:30, but it was 9:32, and she was still the only one there.

Of course, she knew the other reason why she was so on edge.

This would be the first time she would see Anne since their talk on Friday.

Cath had spent the entire weekend avoiding contact with most of their friends.

She had a clipped conversation with Kat on Saturday. She genuinely had not intended on being so sharp with the younger girl, but part of her - the selfish, brooding part of her - maintained a small degree of jealousy that Kat was so close to Anne. Cath hated herself for it, considering Kat didn’t have a bad-intentioned bone in her body, but she let it happen anyway.

She also had a rather quiet study session with Jane and Anna. Usually, she was much more talkative during their sessions. But something about the events of the previous day had made her simply want to put her head down and do her work in silence. Anna seemed to pick up on this and didn’t speak much either. Jane, confused but never one for confrontation, didn’t question their silence, although she did send concerned glances at both of them every once and a while.

On Sunday, she had gone on a walk with Catherine, where she had filled the older girl in on everything that had transpired with Anne. She had kept it simple and managed to go the entire time without crying. By the end of it, Catherine was gazing at her with sympathetic eyes and gave her a tight hug.

So here she was, on a brisk, Monday morning, leaning against a tree, looking like an idiot, and waiting for her friends to show up.

A few minutes later, and Anna and Catherine finally arrived. Anna waved cheerfully, while Catherine just nodded with the comforting smile. Cath smiled nervously back, shifting slightly.

“Hey,” She looked anywhere but at them, not knowing how to act.

“Hey,” Catherine supplied. The three of them lapsed into a tense silence, none of them sure how to continue the measly conversation that had been started.

Finally, Anna cleared her throat, turning to Cath.

“Does she know about…?” Anna prompted in a low voice, although Cath failed to see the point in lowering her voice, as Aragon was standing right next to her.

“Yeah, I told her,” Cath responded as Aragon nodded. Anna opened her mouth to make another point but was interrupted by a call from down the street. Kat was there waving, a grin plastered on her face, although Cath could see an anxious shadow behind her eyes. Jane and Anne were walking behind Kat, conversing absentmindedly, but there was something about their conversation that seemed stilted.

Cath’s heart pounded.

Her stomach twisted as she raised her hand to send a quick wave back.

Anna elbowed her in the ribs.

“Is there anything you want me to do?”

“Don’t let me sit next to her.”


	8. Just What it Means to be Alive

Cath was convinced that the universe was out to get her.

In Anna’s defence, she had made sure that Cath was seated in between herself and Jane, which did fulfill Cath’s request of not sitting next to Anne.

But of course, Kat wanted to sit across from Anna, and Aragon always avoided the middle seat, which left Anne sitting directly across from Cath.

It wouldn’t have been so bad, except that the table was definitely not meant for six people, and even with just a few minutes of sitting, Anne had already managed to knee her twice.

She tried her best to avoid eye contact, but every once and a while, she allowed herself to snatch glances of Anne as she conversed with the group.

She could feel a deep, ugly emotion rising in her chest - one that wasn’t quite jealousy, but certainly could be mistaken as such. It was hot, and it burned brightly as Cath noted the gentle curve of Anne’s face, the way her hair fell, the angle of her cheekbones, the–

She yelped sharply as Anna pinched her, and found Anne staring directly at her, as well as the rest of her friends. Cath cleared her throat.

“Sorry, uh,” She blushed harshly, “Kicked my chair on accident,” She mumbled. Aragon looked at her strangely, but they all picked up the conversation where they had left off with ease. Cath averted her eyes, but she could feel Anne’s gaze lingering a few seconds longer.

“Sorry,” Anna hissed, “You were staring. I didn’t mean to pinch you so hard.”

“It’s fine, don’t worry,” Cath whispered back, “I appreciate the effort,” Cath tried to tune back in to the conversation, but her heart wasn’t in it. She suddenly found it impossible to pay attention to anything except for Anne, Anne’s face, Anne’s hair, Anne’s lips–

She really needed to pull herself together.

It had never been this bad, even before she got rejected.

It wasn’t helping that Anne kept glancing back at her, causing Cath to quickly look away like an awkward high schooler.

They ordered their food, and Kat joked about some assignment she had to do for psychology, but Cath continued to sneak glimpses of Anne.

Was it just her, or had Anne somehow gotten prettier over the weekend?

Stop it. You’re being invasive. You’re being creepy. You’re being stupid.

Cath tore her eyes away as she tuned into the conversation.

“I told you you should have done it yesterday,” Anna laughed as Kat shrugged.

“I dunno, I mean I love Mr. Cusick, don’t get me wrong,” Kat said animatedly, “But his homework takes forever! Plus, it’s like the most boring thing on earth,” she griped. Cath was about to allow herself to zone out again when someone mentioned her name.

“Cathy can help you if you’d like!” Anne said with a grin, “You took psych last year, right?” Cath stared at her for a moment before nodding slowly.

“Uh, yeah,” She winced slightly. Anne turned back to Kat.

“I mean, she’s basically a genius, so if you want help,” Anne gestured at Cath, who could feel her cheeks heating up. Kat looked at her hesitantly.

“If it’s not too much trouble?” Kat’s voice was tentative, and Cath’s mind flashed back to their conversation on Saturday, where Cath had blown the younger girl off. Guilt sat heavy in her stomach.

“Yeah, of course,” Cath smiled as warmly as she could, “Just text me when you need help.” She could once again feel Anne staring at her, but she brushed it off and took a long sip of water as the conversation continued around her.

The tension that had been all too present at the beginning was slowly starting to slip away, and while Cath actively avoided participating in the conversation, she found herself zoning out less and less. There was always an itch in the back of her mind to just look straight ahead and stare at Anne, but she resisted for the most part, only allowing herself a few passing glances.

By the time their food arrived, the ugly emotion that had emerged earlier had eased substantially.

Cath laughed easily as both Anne and Anna made fun of Jane for the way she had addressed the waiter.

“You sound like you were born in the 1500s!” Anne giggled, “‘We are all especially grateful for your service.’” She mimicked Jane’s tone of voice almost perfectly, before bursting into another fit of giggles.

“There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being polite,” Jane protested crossly, although there was a twinkle in her eye.

“Yeah, we all know that Jane’s manners are impeccable,” Anna grinned slyly, “Especially when she’s talking to someone she’s interested in.” Anna waggled her eyes obnoxiously as Jane blushed furiously.

“Shut up! He goes to our school, I was just being nice,” Jane reached behind Cath to swat Anna. Anna rolled her eyes.

“Sure, 'just being nice.’ You’re nice to everyone, but you were extra nice to him, like,” Anna cupped her hand in a circle, making a suggestive motion with her mouth, “Extra nice.”

“Anna, stop it!” Jane lunged around Cath again to properly hit her this time, “Not at breakfast!” Anne and Kat burst into more fists of giggles while Aragon looked on in amusement.

“Sorry, sorry,” Anna apologized, although she was still grinning, even as she rubbed her arm, “I can’t resist a good old-fashioned sex joke. Besides,” Anna smirked, “We all know that’s more up Anne’s alley, anyway.” Cath choked on her water as Aragon snorted, and Anne blushed harshly. “How is he doing, anyway? Recovering from whatever you did to him on Friday?”

“Shut up, Anna,” Anne mumbled, her cheeks bright red. Cath tried to recover from her drinking mishap as subtly as possible, but she could feel Anne’s eyes darting between her and Anna.

“Aw, look, you’re blushing!” Anna crowed, pointing at Anne’s face even as Cath tried to get her attention to tell her to stop.

“Yeah, I’m blushing, 'cause I was fucking drunk when it happened!” Anne burst out furiously, her face flushed in both embarrassment and anger, “Just fucking shut up about shit you don’t understand.” Anna wilted slightly at that, narrowing her eyes, and Cath took the lapse in conversation to quickly change the subject.

“Are any of you planning on going home for the break?” She said quietly, clearing her throat. Aragon caught on to what Cath was doing and quickly followed suit.

“I’m spending a few days at home, but then I’m visiting Maria in Spain,” She replied easily. Kat brightened visibly at this.

“Oh, how is she doing?” Kat asked excitedly. Aragon smiled warmly.

“Very well, actually,” Aragon’s voice was a tiny bit wistful, “She really likes it there. Says she might stay a bit longer, even after the school year is over.”

“That’s cool,” Cath added, taking a bite of her eggs. She could still feel Anne looking at her, so she resorted to chewing her food as slowly and dutifully as possible. The conversation once again picked up around her, and this time Cath was more than content to allow herself to zone out.

What had Anna meant when she said it was “more up Anne’s alley”? Cath wasn’t an idiot; obviously, she knew objectively what Anna was suggesting.

'How is he, anyway? Recovering from whatever you did to him on Friday?’

What had happened on Friday?

Cath felt an impending sense of dread in her chest. She had the distinct feeling that she knew exactly what had happened on Friday.

She had no right to be upset about it. And Anne had every right to do whatever she wanted with her body, whenever she wanted.

It did irk her, though, that Anne hadn’t even waited a day. And that wherever this had happened, Cath clearly had not been invited. And the fact that Anna was the one who had brought it up, despite also being the one before breakfast who claimed that she would help to decrease the awkwardness.

And possibly what set her off the most was the fact that Anne had the audacity to be bashful about it.

Cath hated how judgemental this stupid crush had made her, but at the same time, it felt better to be mad at Anne than to cry about her. It made her feel less pathetic.

As their breakfast conversation dragged on and on, the waiter delivered the bill, which prompted several more jabs at Jane’s politeness. Cath waited in anxious silence for the transaction to be completed, silently cursing as Jane signed the bill with her big, loopy signature.

She made the mistake of allowing herself to make eye contact with Anne, who gave her a concerned look.

'You okay?’ She mouthed. Cath just gave her a tight smile before quickly looking down at her hands in her lap. She wiped her palms on her jeans, silently urging Jane to go faster so she could retreat back to her dorm room and hopefully squeeze in a power nap before her next class.

She took a shaky breath as Jane finally finished up with the bill. Kat and Aragon were still talking about Spain as they exited the restaurant.

Cath shrank into the background as they walked back to campus, making no attempt to either chime in or pay attention. She compulsively shoved her hands into her sweatshirt pockets, staring at her feet as she walked.

She could feel the deep, ugly emotion of almost jealousy rising in her chest again.

This time she made no attempt to beat it down.


	9. A Life Worth Living

Typically, Spanish on a Monday wouldn’t have been so bad for Cath. Not only was the language itself interesting, but the culture and history were also intriguing.

Unfortunately, it was also the only class she shared with Anne.

Which meant here she was, on a gloomy Monday morning, sitting next to the girl she was in love with - who had rejected her - and listening to Señor Shaw lecture about the revolutionary effects of “Don Quixote.”

Cath couldn’t shake the bitterness that rose up inside her whenever Anne leaned over to talk to another classmate. She couldn’t help but give a death glare to the back of the guy’s head.

She was startled out of her hate-fueled staring contest by a folded piece of paper landing on her notebook. She looked around to find Anne staring at her. After a moment, Anne gestured towards the brightly coloured post-it note she had obviously just thrown, miming an unfolding motion with her hands.

Cath turned back to the paper, slightly disconcerted, then unfolded the paper.

_Why so angry?_

Cath winced, then flattened the paper, scribbling a hurried excuse.

_Not angry. Tired. As always lol_

She tossed it back to Anne, focusing forward on the lecture. A few moments later, the post-it note hit her in the side of the face. She let out an embarrassing squeak, drawing the attention of nearby classmates but fortunately not alerting their teacher to their antics. Cath hastily opened the note.

_Cath. What did we say about not keeping stuff in?_

Cath huffed, glancing over at Anne briefly before pulling out a piece of binder paper and hesitantly lettering another answer.

Okay. I know it’s bad and I’m sorry but watching you flirt with other people kind of hurts. You obviously should not stop on my account, but that’s just what I’m feeling. I get jealous easily. I know I shouldn’t because I have no right to, and I’m sorry. But this is me being honest.

She slowly folded the paper up, flicking it at Anne and properly facing forward. She snuck a few glances at Anne as she read the note, only to find Anne grinning. Cath’s cheeks burned. Her mind raced.

Stupid stupid stupid. This is why you don’t speak your mind.

She could hear Anne jotting down a response. The paper, now crumpled up into a ball, landed in her lap a few moments later. She swallowed hard as she opened it, once again preparing herself for the worst.

_You think that was flirting? First off, that guy is NOT attractive, second, he was asking how to conjugate ‘jugar.’ Also, DON’T apologize for being honest! But really Cath, I love you, and I get it. I know I’m hot as fuck. ;)_

Cath groaned quietly, tilting her head back, although she let out a small grin. She looked over to Anne, who was also grinning. Shaking her head in exasperation, she scribbled down a retort.

_You said yourself you’re a fool to not be in love with me. I could seduce this whole school if I wanted to._

She folded the note into a paper airplane, tossing it back to Anne, who giggled as she managed to snatch it out of the air. A voice from the front of the room interrupted their mischief.

“Ana, Catalina! Presten atención, por favor.” Señor Shaw was looking at them somewhat humorously over his square spectacles.

“Lo siento, profe, pero nosotras estábamos hablando sobre el libro.” Anne called back swiftly, grinning shamelessly.

“Ay, sí, está bien pero más silencioso.” He shook his copy of Don Quixote at them.

“Sí señor, claro.” Anne nodded in concession, raising her hands as a further apology, although Cath’s note was still clutched tightly in one of her closed fists.

Despite their chastisement, Anne still snorted rather loudly after reading Cath’s message. Cath made a halfhearted shushing motion, but Anne ignored her, writing her own note back before crumpling the paper up once again and tossing it over. Cath flattened out the weathered letter.

_It wouldn’t take much to seduce them. xoxo_

Cath rolled her eyes, pretending to be exasperated once again, but her lungs burned. She hated how her cheeks heated up and her heart began to race.

It wasn’t fair that Anne had to be so nice about the whole situation. It really was not good for her blood pressure.

–

One of the most interesting and frustrating things about having a crush on Anne was that it was so easy to forget you were in love with her.

Every conversation Cath had with Anne felt like casual, flirty banter.

And as much as she knew it was dangerous to allow herself to interpret it that way, it was all too easy to fall into the rhythm of poking fun and teasing while simultaneously complementing each other. Lingering gazes and burning touches that last a split-second too long to be entirely platonic. It was almost enough to make Cath forget about the comments Anna had made earlier that morning.

Almost.

As it were, after class, Cath found herself in the rare position of retaining a small dose of raw courage.

So as she and Anne were talking absentmindedly and walking towards the library, Cath took a risk.

“What did Anna mean, this morning?” She asked curiously. Anne cocked her head.

“About what? Anna said a lot of things this morning,” Anne replied evenly. Cath snorted.

“Um…about some guy. Who I assume you got quite…” Cath coughed uncomfortably, “Quite familiar with.” Anne laughed, but it sounded almost unnatural.

“Um, yeah,” Anne winced, “Noah. He’s this guy from my Comp Sci class. He’s the sort of dude who will claim to be a liberal and say the f-slur in the same breath, you know?” She sighed, “He’s attractive, thinks he’s the shit, but got no brain inside him as far as I can tell.” Anne shrugged, and Cath raised an eyebrow.

“So, what?” Cath pushed, trying to pry as gently as possible, “What happened?” Anne squeezed her eyes shut.

“I may or may not have blown him behind a kitchen counter,” She said in a small, sheepish voice. Cath let out a barking laugh, more out of shock than anything else.

“Goddamn,” She remarked, half-heartedly attempting to hide her astonishment. Anne just winced further.

“In my defence,” Her voice got higher and higher as she talked, “I was very drunk.”

“I truly mean no offence,” Cath chuckled, “But that really does sound like something you would do.” Anne fake gasped.

“Are you slut-shaming me?” She put a hand to her chest dramatically. Cath just shook her head, still slightly taken aback. Anne sighed, “Yeah…not my finest hour.” Cath shrugged mildly, the original shock having worn off, now replaced by a strange, uncomfortable feeling in her chest.

“Have you talked to him since?” Cath asked hesitantly after a few seconds of awkward silence. Anne’s eyes widened, and she shook her head furiously.

“Nooooo,” She asserted, “No, no, no, nope definitely not.” Cath snorted slightly at her strong reaction.

“Are you planning on talking to him?”

“Nope,” Anne popped her ‘p’ dramatically, “I’m planning on avoiding him as long as I can, but he’s in my Comp Sci class like I said, so chances are I’m gonna have to face him sooner or later.”

“What are you going to tell him?” Cath tilted her head curiously, genuinely interested. Anne shrugged.

“The truth, I guess?” She spread her hands, “I was drunk, I’m not into him, I don’t think we’d make a good couple.” Cath hummed in agreement, not bothering to say anything else.

By the time they had reached the library, the two of them had fully exhausted all topics of conversation. They bid their farewells, Anne heading to the Science and Engineering building while Cath followed her original route inside the library.

–  
About 30 minutes into her study session on “The History of Analytical Sciences,” Cath received a text from Kat.

 **kitkat:** hey…are you available sometime soon to talk about psychology? i know you offered earlier but i do really need help…

Cath sighed, still mildly guilty about her treatment of Kat a few days prior. She quickly typed out a response.

 **cathy:** Yeah, of course! I’m in the library right now - where are you? Do you want to come here or is there somewhere else that would be more convenient?

 **kitkat:** oh i’m actually right by the library! i’ll be there in a few! thanks so much :)

 **cathy:** No problem :)

Cath sat back in her chair, before quickly clearing room on the table in front of her.

True to her word, a few minutes later, Kat poked her head through the front double doors, quickly scanning the inside of the large room. She spotted Cath immediately, waving and smiling brightly. Cath couldn’t help but smile back as Kat eagerly made her way towards her.

“Hey!” Kat greeted her energetically, although Cath could still see a shadow of hesitancy in her eyes.

“Hey,” Cath smiled softly, gesturing for Kat to sit, “So, what do you need help with?” Kat groaned.

“It’s mostly with this project he just assigned,” Kat plopped down in her seat, “I just don’t understand what he even wants us to do, and I can’t find any of the information in the textbook.” Cath frowned slightly.

“Does he have office hours?” She asked distractedly as she pulled Kat’s textbook towards her, flipping through it in an attempt to jog her memory from the previous year.

“He does! I asked him a bunch of questions, and he just told me to reread the handout, and that he explained it there or something,” Kat griped, pulling a blue folder out of her book bag and tugging out a sheet of paper. Cath glanced over the paper, which provided minimal instructions on the project assigned.

“Right,” She trailed off for a moment before tapping one of the bullet points listed on the page, “Here it says page numbers. Are those for the textbook pages?” Kat frowned, peering over at the numbers listed.

“Um,” Kat considered, “Maybe? Let me check,” She flipped through the book, her tongue sticking out of her mouth at an angle which proved her degree of concentration.

It was just like Anne.

Everything about it: the slight narrowing of the eyes, the tongue caught between the teeth, the exact manner of tilting her head. All of it reflected the precise mannerisms of Anne.

Cath tightened her jaw and cleared her throat awkwardly.

_Now is not the time. Now is not the time. Now is not the time. Now is not the–_

“Hey,” Kat interrupted Cath’s inner monologue by waving a hand in front of Cath’s face, “You alright?”

“Yeah,” Cath rubbed her face tiredly, “Yeah, I’m fine, sorry.” Kat narrowed her eyes further.

“You sure?” She leaned in slightly, and hesitated for a long moment before continuing in a quiet voice, “Is this about Anne? Are you mad at me?”

Cath blinked. Then she sighed heavily.

“You act like her,” She said slowly, although truthfully.

“I’m not sure if that’s a compliment or not,” Kat deadpanned, but it was apparent she was trying to hide a smile. Cath let out a genuine laugh.

“Your mannerisms,” Cath clarified, still chuckling, “Your mannerisms are extremely similar. And it’s not your fault,” She said pointedly, “I don’t blame you at all. I was just thinking, you know?” Cath shrugged uncomfortably, shrinking back slightly into her seat. Kat nodded.

“No, I get it. Just like…” She hesitated, “Just know I’m still your friend, right? Like I love Annie with all my heart, but you’re also important to me. And I wouldn’t want anything to mess that up.” Cath smiled.

“Thanks,” Cath said softly. Kat grinned.

“Okay, now that we’ve sorted that out, can you please help me with this project?”


	10. You Can Feel It In Your Chest

The events which had transpired over the weekend had been enough excitement for the rest of her life, Cath had decided.

But unfortunately, in all the commotion, she had completely forgotten about the thing that had started it all: her stupid photography project.

Which was why she was now in the library at 3 am, furiously editing her series as fast as she could manage in a desperate attempt to finish before the library staff kicked her out.

The only fortunate thing was she had spent so many late nights in the library that semester that the staff knew her by name.

She did feel a bit bad for working on the series in public, but considering it was three in the morning, Cath figured Anne wouldn’t mind. No one else was around anyway, and Cath was tired of her roommate snoring.

Having to edit the photos was decidedly easier than Cath had anticipated. While still wildly uncomfortable, the urgency of the situation managed to override Cath’s feelings and allowed her to be surprisingly productive.

She sighed, leaning back in her chair and taking a sip of coffee. She knew that having caffeine this late at night probably wasn’t the best idea, but she had never been one for self-preservation, and currently, this project required more attention than her own wellbeing.

“Whatcha working on?” A voice sounded from right in front of her.

Cath jumped in alarm, spilling hot coffee on herself.

“Shit,” She hissed in pain, before looking up at the boy, now perched on the table next to her laptop, “Fuck you, Tom,” She complained, wiping her coffee-soaked hand on his jeans.

“Hey!” Thomas Seymour protested, but he was grinning fervently, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you, I just wanted to remind you that we have to kick you out in about 20 minutes.” Cath furrowed her eyebrows.

“I thought you closed at 4?” She asked, confused.

“We do,” Thomas nodded towards the electronic clock mounted on the wall, “It’s 3:40.”

“Shit. How did that happen?” Cath could feel the panic rise in her chest, “Last time I checked it was barely 3!” Thomas shrugged.

“Time flies when you’re having fun,” He grinned again. Cath glared at him.

“Don’t be a dick, Tom,” She flipped him off, “If I’ve only got 20 minutes, then I need every second I can get.”

“You know, you never answered my question,” He said, leaning in, “What are you working on?” Cath glowered at him, pulling her computer closer to her.

“None of your business,” She replied cooly. Thomas wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“Watching poooooooorn?” He said in a singsong voice. Cath blushed profusely, glancing around self consciously despite being the only other person in that part of the library.

“No, I am not!” Cath protested, slapping him in the arm, “Now please, let me work!” Thomas retreated with his hands up in surrender.

“Alright, alright,” He laughed goodnaturedly, “I wish you luck. I’ll be back in 20 minutes to kick you out.” He shot Cath a wink, who just rolled her eyes in return.

Cath turned back to her work, reviewing what she had accomplished so far and groaning when she realized how much she still had left to do. She let her head fall forward in exhaustion. Her eyes burned from staring at the screen for so long.

Maybe if she closed them, just for a second.

She jolted upright when someone knocked on the table.

“Hey,” It was Thomas, “I’m sorry, I have to kick you out now,” He had the decency to look sympathetic. Cath shook her head to try and clear her mind.

“I thought I had 20 minutes?”

“You did,” Thomas laughed ruefully, “You fell asleep.” Cath stared at him for a moment before glancing up at the clock. Sure enough, it read 4:00. She leaned back in her chair.

“Fuck,” Cath rubbed her face in frustration, “God-fucking-dammit,” She looked up at Thomas with pleading eyes, “Can you make an exception? Just this once? I don’t need that long I promise,” She could feel her hands begin to shake with anxiety. Thomas actually looked as though he was considering it, but after a few moments, he shook his head.

“I’m sorry Cathy, them’s the rules,” He patted her on the back, “I’ll walk you back to your dorm room if you’d like?” Cath shook her head before grabbing his hand.

“I swear, just let me work in here for thirty more minutes?” She hated how whiney her voice sounded, but at this point, she couldn’t bring herself to care, “That’s all I need, is thirty minutes. Thirty minutes and I owe you big time.” Thomas tilted his head at that.

“Thirty minutes and you owe me big time, huh?” He narrowed his eyes, clearly thinking.

“Yes,” Cath said warily, “I’m not gonna help you bury a body though if that’s what you’ re–”

“Go on a date with me,” Thomas interrupted her. Cath blinked.

“What?”

“Go on a date with me,” He repeated, “And you’ve got as long as you need.” Cath continued to blink at him in surprise. She suddenly became aware of the fact that her jaw had dropped and quickly closed her mouth in embarrassment.

“Um, I…” She stuttered, not knowing how to respond. Her mind immediately flashed to Anne.

But then she stopped.

This would be the perfect strategy to get over Anne.

She had to move on somehow, right?

Plus, Thomas wasn’t exactly unattractive. And he was smart. He worked in a library, for God’s sake!

Still, something in her stomach turned at the idea of dating him.

It’s one date! A tiny voice in the back of her head cried, one date means nothing! Plus, you get all the time you need!

“Okay,” She said quietly, “One date,” She looked at him pointedly, “One date, that’s the deal, and I get as much time as I need?” Thomas smiled brightly and stuck out his hand. Cath took it hesitantly, and they shook on it.

“Brilliant!” Thomas exclaimed, “Now, I am going to go get you some more coffee so you can finish this project!” Cath smiled slightly, watching him skip away like a small child.

Unease still buzzed in the back of her head, but she ignored it.

She had to finish this project first.

–

It had taken her longer than expected to finish the project, but Thomas had brought her more coffee, which had, in fact, increase her productivity.

He had also kindly offered to sit with her as she worked to make sure she didn’t fall asleep. Every once and a while, when Cath would start to get anxious about finished, he would strike up a conversation with her, usually about something he had read or seen recently. She was thankful for the distraction, although she didn’t know how much longer she could stand listening to him rant about how stupid of a game Monopoly was.

Thomas once again offered to walk her back to her dorm, and this time she accepted. They talked a bit on the way there, mostly joking around.

By the time Cath finally got back to her room, the caffeine she had consumed just an hour earlier had properly worn off, and as soon as she got inside her room, she collapsed on her bed, not even bothering to change into pyjamas.

It was the first night she hadn’t thought about Anne.

–

Cath slumped onto the lunch table in the cafeteria.

She felt someone poke her hair.

“Hey,” Aragon’s voice came from beside her. With what felt like a herculean effort, Cath lifted her head, humming in acknowledgement.

She found the rest of her friends staring at her in concern. She let out a small grunt, rubbing her face in exhaustion.

“’M sorry,” She mumbled, “Late night.”

“How late is late for you?” Jane stared at her, almost fearfully. Cath shrugged.

“5:30?”

“Catherine Parr!” Cath winced both at Aragon’s tone and at the use of her full name.

“I’m sorry! I had shit to do!” She said defensively. Jane rolled her eyes.

“Cath, how many times do we have to tell you, nothing is more important than your health!” Her voice was filled with exasperation. Cath just rolled her eyes.

“Whatever,” She dismissed their protests with a clumsy wave of her hand, “I’m getting more coffee.” She stalked over to the coffee station, her annoyance at her friends being the only thing keeping her awake.

As she poured herself some coffee, she allowed herself to zone out, staring at the labels on the dispensers but not really reading them.

She yelped as the scalding coffee overflowed onto her hand, cursing as she quickly set it down and grabbed a napkin.

“Hey,” Another voice sounded next to her, and Cath jumped, almost spilling her coffee again.

“For the love of God, would people please stop doing that!” Cath grumbled under her breath, turning to find Anne standing next to her. She froze, staring at her with wide eyes, before clearing her throat, “Uh. Hey?”

“Are you alright?” Anne’s voice was laced with concerned, something which had become all too familiar in the last week. Cath sighed.

“Yeah,” She replied, “Tired.” She gestured towards her coffee, and the spillage she was still cleaning up. Anne narrowed her eyes.

“Cathy–”

Cath held up a hand.  
“No, I’m actually tired. Late night last night,” She said matter-of-factly, continuing to mop up the mess she had made in order to distract herself. Anne nodded slowly.

“Yeah, I heard,” She replied warily, “5:30, huh?” Cath nodded mutely. Anne stood there for a moment, watching Cath clean up and toss the now saturated napkin in the bin.

“Did you have a reason for coming over here, or were you just planning on watching me clean up spilled coffee?” Cath snapped, her voice sharper than she meant it to be. A look of hurt passed behind Anne’s eyes, but it vanished as quickly as it had appeared.

“Yeah, um…I was wondering if you wanted to hang out and get lunch tomorrow,” Anne grinned half-heartedly, “I’ve missed my Cathy time.”

“I can’t,” Cath replied bluntly, picking up her coffee and getting ready to walk off. A renewed look of hurt graced Anne’s features, and this time it stayed there for several seconds before Anne rearranged her facial expression.

“Why not?” Anne shot back. Cath turned on her heel and began to walk away.

“Because I have a date.”


	11. Building Like Little Birds

Cath took a breath, preparing herself for the night ahead of her.

It had become a tradition among their friend group that every Thursday evening, they would get together at Catherine of Aragon and Maria de Salinas’s shared apartment and cook dinner, play games, and watch movies.

Usually, this little get-together was the best part of Cath’s week. But now, Cath was dreading having to spend the entire evening in the same room as Anne.

She sucked in another deep breath and rapped on the door of Catherine and Maria’s shared apartment.

Only a moment later, the door opened to reveal Aragon, who was grinning brightly.

“Hey!” She gave Cath a quick hug before letting her inside, “Anne’s already here in the living room.” Cath nodded mutely, peering into the room in question to confirm this. Sure enough, Anne was situated in an armchair across the room.

Cath moved back into the kitchen, drumming her fingers lightly on the counter.

“So,” She tilted her head expectantly at Aragon, “What’s the plan for tonight?”

“Well, Anna, Kat and Jane should be over within the hour,” Aragon pulled out a cookbook, “And I am going to get started on food.”

Aragon snatched her keys off the kitchen counter. Cath looked at her, slightly alarmed.

“You’re leaving?” She asked nervously.

“Just for a bit,” Aragon replied, giving her a sympathetic smile, “I need to pick up some ingredients to make dinner.” Cath looked at her imploringly.

“But,” Cath protested quietly, jerking her head in the direction of the other room where Anne was sitting, “You can’t leave me here alone.”

“It’ll only be for a little bit,” Aragon reassured her, smiling in amusement, “You both have been over here a million times. Just make small talk or something. You’ll be fine.” Cath watched helplessly as Aragon closed the door behind her. She gulped in anticipation, before hesitantly poking her head in the living area where Anne had situated herself.

After a few moments of careful judgement, Cath approached the couch opposite of where Anne was pretzeled up in a large, worn armchair.

She settled into the couch cushions, watching Anne carefully as the other girl looked at something on her phone.

Anne was wearing black leggings and a green flannel. Her hair was pulled up in a messy bun on the top of her head. She wore minimal make-up, although she still had on her signature red lipstick.

It reminded Cath vaguely of the day they had done the photo shoot. It had been less than a week ago, but it felt like it had happened in another lifetime.

She felt a twinge of melancholy.

_Don’t think about the pictures, don’t think about the pictures, don’t think about the pictures, don’t think–_

“So, how was your date?” Anne asked lightly, without looking up. Cath flinched, then scratched the back of her neck sheepishly. She could feel how loaded of a question it was. She coughed, then began picking idly at her cuticles, unsure of how to answer appropriately.

“It was good,” Cath finally settled, “It was fun. We saw a movie, and then we went to lunch at Tossed,” She tilted her head slightly, hesitating before adding a final comment, “He’s sweet.” Anne’s expression twisted slightly, jumping between several emotions before finally landing on what appeared to be pleasant surprise.

“That’s nice,” Anne replied sweetly, but there was something in her tone that sounded very un-Anne-like. Cath stared at her for a moment before nodding.

“Yeah,” She replied, “Yeah, it was nice.” She went back to picking at her fingers, then cleared her throat, reconsidering. “Hey, um, I’m sorry,” Cath started, sighing, “For snapping at you, I mean. I was sleep-deprived and stressed, but that’s no excuse. I should have treated you with more respect. You certainly deserved a much kinder response.” Cath smiled genuinely at Anne, waiting for some kind of reaction.

Instead, Anne looked up at her, stared for a few moments, then immediately returned to looking at her phone.

“Yeah, whatever.”

Cath blinked. She stared at Anne in confusion, about to make a pointed remark about how weird Anne was acting, before the other girl cut her off.

“I went on a date too,” Anne burst out, breaking the silence and finally looking up fully at Cath. Cath stared back at her, even more startled. There was a slight pang in her chest, but she pushed it down easily.

“That’s good,” She smiled as warmly as possible, “I’m glad. How did it go?” Anne looked slightly taken aback.

“It was a lot of fun,” She responded bluntly, not bothering to elaborate further. Cath nodded, swallowing the sour taste in her mouth.

“Who was it with?”

“Noah.”

Cath sat up, alarmed. The bitter tang of jealousy returned to her mouth.

“Noah, like, the guy you blew behind a counter, Noah?” She asked, eyes widening by the second. Anne nodded nonchalantly.

“Yes. You got a problem with that?” She challenged. Cath shrunk back slightly. She carefully considered the situation.

_It’s not my place. This is how I get over her._

“No,” She replied calmly, “There’s no problem at all. I’m happy for you.” Anne nodded curtly.

“Thank you,” She said stiffly.

Cath wanted to vomit.

–

It took almost 45 minutes for Aragon to return from the store.

Which was 44 minutes too long for Cath’s liking.

She and Anne had sat in silence for the remaining time, neither of them attempting to make small talk. Anne had pulled out her phone again after a bit and started to scroll through her various social media accounts, whereas Cath just curled up on the couch, unsure of how to approach the situation.

But finally, after what felt like eons, she caught the sound of Aragon opening the front door.

Cath sprung up from the couch, desperate to get out of the room with Anne, and rushed over to help Aragon with her bags.

“How did it go? I see you didn’t burn the house down,” Aragon remarked humorously, unloading the bags in her arms.

“It was great,” Cath responded through gritted teeth, “Please never leave me alone with her again.” Aragon raised her eyebrows.

“That bad?”

Cath sighed heavily, but before she could respond, the doorbell rang.

“Oh, thank God,” Cath huffed under her breath, rushing to the door and opening it swiftly to let the rest of their friends inside.

Anna sidled in first, hefting a large bag containing various board games.

“I come bearing gifts,” She quipped, grinning widely and giving Cath a quick side hug before moving to the other room to deposit the games. Kat and Jane both followed Anna inside. Kat bounded into the kitchen and immediately began to help Aragon with getting dinner started.

After a few moments of consideration, Cath returned to the living room, tentatively sitting next to Anna in an attempt to protect herself from Anne.

“What should we play first?” Anna asked, smirking as she unpacked her bag.

“No Monopoly,” Anne pouted, “Monopoly isn’t fun.”

“Yeah, ‘cause you always lose,” Jane piped up from the doorway.

“Hey!” Anne protested while Cath and Anna both laughed.

“She’s not wrong,” Cath said through her giggles, “You always go bankrupt trying to get the green properties.”

“I have a theme, a reputation if you will. I have to stick to it,” Anne defended, but there was an amused twinkle in her eye.

Cath could feel the tension easing slightly. She grinned mischievously and pulled out another game.

“What about Uno?”

–

“Draw 4. Red. And,” Anna slapped her card down on the discard pile, “Uno!” A series of groans and protests sounded from the rest of the group. Cath rolled her eyes humorously.

“I should have known better than to suggest Uno. I forgot how ruthless you are,” Cath nudged Anna.

“Hey! I didn’t come here to make friends, I came here to win,” Anna jested, laughing loudly, “Besides,” She held up her remaining card, “I haven’t even won yet.”

“If you win, I won’t kiss you for the rest of the week!” Kat piped up from next to Anne. Anna snorted.

“I think that’d be more of a challenge for you than for me, babes,” She remarked with mirth. Kat pulled a face before giggling along.

“Jane, hurry up and draw four!” Kat squealed. Jane pouted, taking the necessary cards from the pile. Cath laughed, then nodded at Anne.

“Anne, it’s your turn.”

Anne jolted upright.

“Huh?” She looked around, clearly confused.

“Annie, it’s your turn. You’ve got to play,” Kat said, nudging her.

“Oh,” Anne cleared her throat, “Um, sorry. What colour is it?” Jane looked at her closely, a concerned look on her face.

“Hey, you okay, honey? You’ve been awfully quiet,” Jane put her hand on Anne’s gently, but Anne snatched it away.

“I’m fine, thanks,” Anne responded, but it was too sharp to be convincing.

“Are you sure, babes? Usually you’re a lot more invested in Uno,” Anna added. Anne shifted uncomfortably.

“Yes, I’m perfectly fine,” She gritted, “Although I don’t know why my wellbeing is all of a sudden so important.” Cath drew her brows together.

“Anne,” She started, “You’re our friend. We care about you. Your wellbeing is always important to us.” Anne’s face flashed with an unreadable emotion.

“Mm, wow, thanks so much for your concern,” Anne muttered darkly. Cath raised an eyebrow.

“Excuse me?”

“I said,” Anne raised her voice, “Thanks so much for your concern.” Cath sighed, then pursed her lips.

“Anne, I don’t know what you’re angry about, but if you need to work it out with me, then work it out. Don’t take it out on everyone else,” Cath said cooly. Anne stared at her blankly. For a moment, Cath thought maybe she would apologize.

Then Anne rolled her eyes.

“Whatever. I’m going to the bathroom,” Anne growled, launching herself out of the armchair she had been sitting in. She stomped off angrily. Cath winced at each sound of Anne’s footfalls, clearing her throat awkwardly.

“I’m gonna…” She pointed after Anne, and Aragon nodded.

“Yeah, go.”


	12. And You Build it Up Strong

Cath made her way upstairs, pausing only once she reached the bathroom door. It was closed, but she could hear sniffling coming from inside. She cleared her throat, knocking hesitantly.

“Hey Anne…can I come in?” She called through the closed door.

“Yeah, for sure, it’s not like I’m taking a piss or anything,” Anne called back. Her voice wavered, but there was still a bitter bite to her words. Nevertheless, a few moments later, the door opened slightly, revealing Anne’s face.

“Hey…” Cath said quietly, furrowing her brow as she took in the redness of Anne’s eyes and nose.

“Hey,” Anne said sharply, “What are you doing here?” Cath eyed her carefully.

“I think you know what I’m doing here,” Cath whispered. Anne sighed, rubbing her face and retreating inside the bathroom, mumbling to herself. Cath eased the door open, allowing herself to slip inside. Before she could say anything else, Anne let out a deafening sigh.

“Why’d you have to go on a date with HIM?” She mumbled. Cath frowned, concern almost immediately turning into outrage.

“I can date whoever I want, you don’t get a say,” Cath said coldly. Anne’s eyes bugged out.

“Oh, come on, Cathy, you were in love with me not two days ago!”

“And what does that have to do with anything?” Cath challenged. Anne opened her mouth, then closed it again, pinching the bridge of her nose.

Finally, she spoke again.

“Just…why him?”

“Why not him?” Cath countered.

“‘Cause he’s a fucking weirdo, Cathy, he’s a creep!” Anne exploded.

“Stop calling me Cathy,” Cath said quietly through gritted teeth. Anne looked at her, clearly taken aback.

“What?” Anne said, crestfallen.

“Stop calling me Cathy,” Cath tried not to show her frustration, “Until you can start acting like a fucking adult.” Anne’s face reddened.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Anne cried indignantly.

“Exactly what you think it means,” Cath retorted bitterly, “It means you’re acting like a child, and I’m tired of it,” She pulled away from Anne.

“What, I’m a child for trying to look out for you?” Anne asked incredulously.

“I don’t need looking out for! Because I, unlike you, am an ACTUAL adult who can make her own decisions!” Cath raised her voice.

“Like making the decision to go on a date with a rapist?!” Anne burst out. Almost immediately, her hands flew to cover her mouth, and she took a step back. Cath stared at her hollowly, aghast.

“What?” Her voice sounded far away, muffled by shock. Anne tried to roll her eyes and look frustrated, but Cath could see the desperation behind her expression. Anne bit her lip, chewing harshly. Finally, she sighed.

“He’s a known rapist,” Anne said quietly, “I meant to tell you in a more civilized manner, but you kinda forced it out of me.” Cath felt like the room was spinning.

“You’re sure?” She asked faintly. Anne nodded, a concerned expression drawing her eyebrows close together.

“Yes. Positive,” Anne replied, taking a step forward and reaching an arm out, no doubt in an attempt to stabilize Cath.

Cath felt sick.

_You touched him. You touched him. You touched him._

Her stomach turned.

_You hugged him. You hugged him. You hugged him._

She took a shaky breath.

_You kissed him. You kissed him. You kissed him._

“Cathy? Hey, Cathy?” Anne tried to get Cath to look her in the eye, “I need you to breathe for me, okay?”

“I kissed him, I–” Cath’s breathing faltered, “I didn’t–” She pitched forward. Anne barely caught her before she hit her head on the sink. Cath couldn’t control any of her limbs. She sucked in deep breaths, trying to remember the exercises Anna had taught her from earlier.

“Cathy. Cathy Cathy Cathy,” Anne grabbed Cath’s chin, forcing her to make eye contact, “Look at me. Breathe in,” Anne demonstrated slowly, “One, two, three, breathe out,” Cath tried to follow along, but she was finding it difficult to focus. The room began to spin.

“I can’t, I can’t,” Cath wheezed painfully, eyes darting around the room, search for something, anything to distract herself with, “I was with him, I touched him–”

“Cathy,” Anne snapped her fingers in front of Cath’s face, “You’re here. You’re sitting in a bathroom with me. You know me, right? I’m Anne Boleyn? And downstairs, there are four other people who love and care about you. You’re safe. That’s all you need to pay attention to right now. You’re safe. Just keep breathing.”

Cath took heaving breaths as she gasped for air, but she could feel the constriction in her chest slowly releasing. Anne pulled her into a loose embrace from behind, easing Cath into her lap and resting her chin on Cath’s shoulder. She continued to whisper calm encouragement in her ear.

“That’s it. Deep breaths, baby. It’s okay,” Anne stroked the sides of Cath’s arms gently, “There’s no shame in being alarmed. I’m sorry for springing on you. You deserve a better explanation than that. But you’re safe right now. You’re okay. That’s all that matters.” Cath could feel her breaths slowing down. The pounding in her head began to fade, and she let herself relax against Anne.

Cath let out a content sigh. She idly realized the rather intimate position she and Anne were in, but her mind was too overwhelmed to even react. She leaned against Anne’s torso, enjoying the contrast between the warmth of Anne’s body against the cold tiled floor.

She couldn’t help but notice how Anne smelled of cinnamon. Had she always smelled this good? Or was this a new development?

She also carefully took note of Anne’s soft hands, brushing against the sides of Cath’s biceps in a soothing manner. She could feel each of Anne’s deep breaths, and could even hear her fluttering heartbeat.

“I’m sorry,” Cath said in a hushed voice, but the apology felt empty. Before she could even open her mouth to continue, Anne squeezed Cath tighter.

“Can we please stop with the apologies?” Anne pleaded, “You’ve done absolutely nothing wrong. And it’s tiresome,” Anne’s voice was faint, but it held conviction.

“Okay,” Cath said simply. Anne sighed from behind her, cradling Cath closer to her chest and humming in her ear softly.

“Can we just…” Anne said in a small voice, “Can we start over?” She laughed ruefully, “I’m no good at this whole ‘being mad at you’ thing.” Cath chuckled softly.

“Yeah, actually. Starting over sounds kind of nice,” Cath paused momentarily, “From which point are we starting? Are we strangers now, or…?”

Anne’s laugh reminded Cath of a summer’s day.

“It was a hypothetical scenario, Cathy,” Anne giggled, “We can’t actually start over–” Anne’s breath hitched slightly, and she stopped. Cath was unable to see Anne’s face, but at this point, she was too scared to turn around and check.

“What is it?” She could hear the concern creep into her own voice. Anne breathed out slowly.

“Remember the day you confessed to me?” Anne asked quietly. Cath squeezed her eyes shut.

“Unfortunately, yes.”

“Can we start from there?” There was a strange nervousness to Anne’s voice. It was a tone so unfamiliar from the usually boisterous girl. Cath considered the request carefully, hoping to be able to anticipate what Anne was trying to do. Finally, she sighed in resignation.

“Well, I certainly don’t see why not,” Cath replied, sitting up and turning around to face Anne, “Although I’d really prefer not to have to redo my whole speech.” Anne shook her head, vigorously.

“Oh, no no no, that’s fine, just…” She hesitated, her cheeks flushing red, a look which Cath couldn’t help but find absolutely adorable, “Would you mind repeating the last thing you said?”

“Huh?” Cath cocked her head, and Anne rolled her eyes in return.

“The last line of your speech?” Anne clarified, “Do you mind repeating it?” Cath’s breath caught in her chest. She swallowed hard.

“Um. Okay…” Cath took Anne’s hand, steeling herself for the embarrassment she knew she would have to endure, “Anne…I think, somewhere along the way,” Cath took a deep breath, “I may have fallen in love with you.”

Anne’s eyes shone. A tiny grin broke out on her face. Then she cleared her throat carefully.

“Cathy, I think, somewhere along the way,” Anne looked up at Cath with wide eyes, “I may have fallen in love with you too.”


	13. And You Fill it Up With Love

“Cathy, you’ve been bluescreening for five minutes. You’re starting to scare me,” Anne said nervously. Cath swallowed hard, blinking dumbly at her.

“You’re...in love...with ME?” She finally managed to choke out. Her cheeks flushed hotly at her own inability to force complete sentences. Anne gave her a strange look.

“Yes…” She replied quietly. Cath’s eyes bugged out.

“WHY?” Cath let the question burst out of her by accident. She quickly clapped both her hands over her mouth, but the damage was already done.

“Because you’re bloody brilliant, that’s why!” Anne screeched, “I mean, seriously, you’re like a genius, and you have an amazingly impressive work ethic, and such a passion for everything you do, and you always see the best in people, and you’re thoughtful, and when you laugh, your nose crinkles in this one way and its absolutely adorable, and you tug on your hair when you’re nervous, and when you get shy you suck on your lip, and you’re like over of the most beautiful people I’ve ever SEEN, and yeah you might be a little high strung, but it’s always because you care so much about other people and shit!” Anne finished with a yell. She was out of breath, her face flushed red with emotion.

Cath stared at her with wide eyes.

Then she lunged forward, grabbed Anne by the face, and pulled her into a deep kiss.

Almost immediately, Anne’s hands flew to Cath’s waist. Cath shivered as Anne’s fingers caught in the groove of her spine.

The kiss was off-beat - almost as if Anne was kissing her with the intent to make up for every kiss they’d missed.

It was desperate, rushed, out of sync.

It was perfect.

Anne twisted one of her hands into Cath’s curly hair, kissing her harder. It took Cath a moment to realize Anne was crying. She pulled away immediately and started to panic.

“Shit, sorry, was that wrong? I dunno I just went on instinct, I mean I just assumed--” Cath stumbled over her words, backing up against the opposite wall in an attempt to put some distance between herself and the now weeping Boleyn girl. “Truly, Anne, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that without asking, I...oh God…” Cath winced as Anne swiped at her eyes, clearly trying to compose herself.

“No, no, it’s not that, it’s none of that!” Anne choked out, still rubbing at her face, “It’s just that...GOD YOU’RE AMAZING!” She exclaimed tearily. Cath blinked, inching back over next to Anne.

“I, um...thank you?” She replied hesitantly, before gently wrapping an arm around Anne’s shoulders, “Is that...is that the only reason you’re crying?” Anne laughed wetly, sniffing before taking a deep breath.

“No, I…” Anne hesitated. Then she wiped away the remainder of her tears and turned to face Cath, taking both her hands again, “I know I said no more apologies, but...I think I owe you one.” Anne’s voice was thick, and her face was twisted with guilt. “I shouldn’t have treated you the way I did. Even though I didn’t even realize what I was doing, I should have been more self-aware. It wasn’t fair to you to have to deal with my anger when I didn’t even know why I was angry in the first place. I should have communicated, but I was dumb and jealous and I didn’t. And,” Anne cleared her throat, “I’m so sorry for that. You didn’t deserve it. Any of it.”

Cath smiled softly at Anne’s earnest expression. She rubbed comforting circles on the back of Anne’s hand with her thumb.

“Apology accepted.”

Anne’s face lit up, her eyes as starry as the night sky.

She leaned in and gave Cath a sound kiss on the lips, before pulling her into a tight hug. 

“You, Catherine Parr,” Anne whispered against her neck, “Are a gift to humanity.”

\--

The rest of the night what relatively smoothly. No one mentioned or asked Anne or Cath about where they had gone, although Aragon stared at the both of them a bit more intently than usual.

It was a genuine struggle for Cath to not grin like an idiot every time she met Anne’s eyes. Anne had returned to her usual self, getting way to invested into Uno and being louder that what was probably acceptable for a Thursday night.

Cath’s heart pounded as she watched Anne laugh animatedly, her head thrown back slightly and her cheeks flushed pink. Cath smiled shyly as Anne caught her staring and flashed her a brilliant grin.

By the time dinner was ready, everything was back to normal, except for the odd stare from Aragon.

They ate quickly, chatting about school and the upcoming finals. Nothing out of the ordinary came up, although Anne gave Cath a suggestive look that made her choke on her water when Anna made a joke about Anne’s mouth.

After dinner they played Texas Hold ‘Em, although without the gambling in order to appease both of the Catherines. Anne turned out to be surprisingly good, and ended up winning so many times that Jane suggested they call it a night before Anne got any ideas about potential casino trips.

Cath’s heart was full.

It was the first time in weeks where she felt completely comfortable and at ease.

\--

**anne:** hey, uh...you kinda rushed out on me there

**cathy:** Sorry! I didn’t mean to :( just anxious to get back campus

**anne:** …

**anne:** can we talk?

**cathy:** Yes. What’s up?

**anne:** i mean like in person. it’s kinda important…

**cathy:** Right. 

**cathy:** Where are you?

**anne:** ...outside your dorm room.

Cath’s head shot up. She cautiously tiptoed to the door, opening it just a crack.

Sure enough, Anne was standing outside, anxiously fiddling with the hem of her flannel.

She cleared her throat.

“Hey,” She gave Cath a nervous wave. Cath shot her a quizzical look.

“Not that I mind seeing you again,” Cath said, smiling softly, “But why are you outside my dorm?” Anne shifted from side to side uncomfortably.

“We never really discussed...you know...what happened earlier…” Anne gestured with her hands in a manner that definitely did not match what she was saying. Cath narrowed her eye with confusion.

“What is it you want to talk about?” Cath’s heart rate began to speed up, and she ushered Anne inside.

_ She’s going to break up with you! _ A tiny voice in her head cried.  _ She thinks it was a mistake. She HATES you. _

“I wanted to talk about our relationship status.” Anne bit her lip.

Oh shit.  _ SHE HATES YOU SHE HATES YOU SHE HATES-- _

“...What are we? Like what kinda label are we putting on this? Or no label at all?” Anne’s voice was filled with innocent curiosity.

Cath let out a sigh of relief.

“I thought you were about to break up with me,” She laughed breathily. Anne frowned, then laughed incredulously.

“What? No! Hell no, don’t you remember I’m fucking in love with you, you dumbass? Why would I break up with you? And besides, we’d need to be together first in order to be able to ‘break up.’” Cath froze as Anne looked up at her slowly.

They stared at each other in uncomfortable silence for a moment.

Finally, Anne began to speak so softly, Cath could barely hear.

“Unless...that’s what you’d want?” 

Cath’s breath caught in her throat at Anne’s words.

“Only if that’s what you want as well,” She whispered under her breath. Anne’s face broke out into a face-splitting grin.

“Yes please,” She said in a hushed voice, nodding aggressively. Cath smiled fondly at the girl in front of her.

A moment later she lunged forward and kissed Anne fiercely. Anne stumbled back before grabbing Cath’s waist and pulling them close together. Cath’s hand traveled up to Anne’s cheek, the tips of her fingers tracing Anne’s jawline as her other hand twisted into Anne’s hair. Anne laughed into the kiss, then playfully bit at Cath's lips. Cath squeaked and felt her face flush red as Anne moved to press gentle kisses along her collarbone.

“You're stupid." Cath said breathlessly, attempting to sound cross.

This time, Anne's laugh vibrated across Cath's throat.

"I know."

Cath's breath caught.

"I love you."

She could feel Anne's smile pressed against her jaw.

"I know."

\--- 

Anne’s arms were wrapped around Cath’s torso, her head resting on Cath’s chest. Cath could feel the faint thumping of Anne’s heartbeat from where her hand was placed carefully along Anne’s ribs.

Anne was humming a song softly against Cath’s collarbone, the vibration making Cath shiver.

Cath sighed with contentment.

“Do you think anyone else knows?” She whispered softly.

“About us? Nah.” Anne replied.

Neither of them spoke for a few more minutes.

“Do you think armadillos have penises?”


	14. Epilogue

“Aw damn,” Cath husked through morning voice, “I have photography at nine.” Anne groaned.

“Skip it,” She drawled sleepily, snuggling deeper into Cath’s embrace, “You’re warm.” Cath let out a fake gasp, even as her heart warmed.

“‘M sorry babes, but this class is actually really important towards my major. I gotta get up,” Cath attempted to extract herself from Anne’s grip, succeeding only partly, and ended up rolling onto the floor. She groaned, rubbing her lower back as Anne’s laughter came from above her.

“Are you okay?” Anne asked through her laughter. Cath picked herself up, rolling her eyes but smiling softly.

“I’m fine,” She sat on the bed next to Anne, “I’ll see you at lunch, okay?”

Anne smiled back.

“Okay.”

Anne leaned down and gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead.

“Take care, babes.”

“Have fun,” Anne mumbled from under the covers.

\--

Cath couldn’t help but strut through the cafeteria, her spirits higher than ever, with her purple assignment folder tucked carefully under her arm.

She strode swiftly over to the lunch table where her friends were all gathered. Anne sat across from an empty seat. Cath slid onto the bench and tossed the purple folder on the lunch table in front of Anne. Anne’s eyebrows shot up to her hairline.

“What’s this?” She asked through a mouthful of chicken.

“Open it,” Cath gestured, grinning giddily. Anne obliged, swallowing her food and then opening the folder slowly. Immediately she burst out laughing.

“Aw, babes, that’s amazing!” Anne shrieked, springing up and pulling Cath into a tight hug, “I’m so proud of you! Congratulations!” She spun Cath around and gave her a sound kiss on the lips. Cath blushed profusely, despite the wide grin on her face.

“Ahem.”

Cath’s smile dropped. She turned slowly to her table of friends, who were all staring at her with various expressions of pride, shock, excitement, and, in Anna’s case, boredom.

“Oh, right...uh, haha...surprise?” Anne did some very uncomfortable jazz hands.

It was Anna who broke the silence.

“So, what’s got you two so excited?”

Cath beamed, opening the folder.

“Look.”

There, written on her nude model photography assignment sheet in red marker, was a giant A+.


End file.
